#the one I feel strongest about is the flannel one I just- it’s a feeling in my soul

[hoshigray]

hello, lovely! is it okay to request a short fic wherein gojo’s pregnant wife (y/n) stole his kikufuku? thank u! (missing soft gojo hours 😭)

𝐚. 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: omg stoooop this is so cute and sweet, what!?

⊹ 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬: Gojo x pregnant afab/fem! reader - tooth-rotting fluff - pet names (angel, baby, stars and moon, sweetheart) - Gojo being a big crybaby over sweets - so soft, i was smiling while writing, hehe~.

⊹ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 1.1k

THUD!

“…!” You jolt, immediately looking to the entrance of the living room to see your husband. “Gojo! You okay?”

The white-haired man stands still with a gawked expression, eyes covered by his black blindfold with his usual Jujutsu Tech attire, and you can assume the noise came from the souvenir bags he dropped to the floor.

“…Y/n, my angelic stars and moon,” he finally speaks after a few seconds of silence, and you can see his lips quiver with trembling hands. “Is…Is that my last kikufuku?” 

If there is one thing Gojo loved more than anything other than you, it would be his undying love for sweets! You could never find him without any at his disposal; he’d have a bunch of lollipops in his pockets, be licking popsicles or soft serves while monitoring his first years during their missions, or typically stop by a café and grab some crepes for dessert to take home and share with you. He’s known to have a childish heart, and sweets are his weakness!

His all-time favorite would be the mochi delicacy he often gets during his mission trips to Sendai, and he’s always sure to buy a whole box worth to make the long trip up North worth it. Kikufuku, the crushed edamame and cream-filled mochi, is Gojo’s favorite sweet to eat — you’re a witness to him happily stuffing his face with them lying on the couch after a hard day’s work. He’s the type to eat one every week until he can return to Sendai and get more. 

This week was the very last one he had saved, secured in the cold fridge for him to eat once he got home. And he wasn’t going to Sendai anytime soon, so he planned on treasuring and savoring it the moment he stepped inside and lay beside his pregnant partner to chill on this blissful spring evening.

He could never get over the sight of you whenever he came home. Gojo loved his partner so much that he swears he would burn the world if you commanded him to, which you knew is an exaggeration, but his love is true. The day he got on one knee and heard you say yes to his proposal was the happiest he’d ever been, sweeping you off your feet, putting you in your dream puffy white dress, and officially becoming the spouse of the strongest sorcerer in the jujutsu world! And now you were swole with his child!? Not even God could strike this man to calm him down of his glee.

You were sitting on the living room couch like you always did, waiting for your husband to return, wearing a black maternity one-piece that comfortably molded around your figure and a blue flannel shirt – his flannel – to keep you warm. Gojo came home with souvenirs to share and impress, a huge smile just from thinking about your reactions. 

However, the sight has him gasp dramatically loud and drop everything to the wooden floor, because he saw something in your hand, something that broke his heart noticing the green and white filling apparent from a bite on an undeniable white rice cake. 

You were eating the very last of his kikufuku…How could you!?

You blinked at him, then turned to the sweet in your hand, and the realization of what you were doing finally hit you. “Oh! I’m sorry, Satoru! I was feeling snacky.”

The tall man teeters to where you’re sitting, whining with every step. “So why didn’t you eat your snacks, sweetheart?”

“I don’t know?” You shrugged, licking bits of the edamame cream off your middle finger. “They didn’t seem like what I was craving for. I wanted something sweet, ya know? And I finished my ice cream two nights ago, so this was all I could find.”

“Yeah, but like,” you can tell his eyebrows were scrunched together even if the black material concealed his upper face. “That was my last one, baby! Plus, you could’ve texted me you’d eat it, or I could’ve stopped somewhere to grab you something sweet!”

“I know! But, you were very busy today; a big mission up in Kyoto and a meeting with Principal Yaga, sooo…” you squished the mochi gently, licking more of the filling coming out. “I didn’t wanna interrupt or bother you…”

“But stilllll~!”God, you were so cute when you cared for him, you almost made him forget the whole thing then and there. But you can’t hate the man for being a little upset, right? Gojo sighs and places his cheek on your belly. “Little booger, you hear what your momma is doing to me? So cruel~.”

You gasped. “Hey! Don’t say that to them!” Your free hand tries to yank him off your tummy by the hair, yet he doesn’t budge as he exclaims painfully. “What, are you saying the pregnant love of your life is some villain because they ate one of your sweets? As if I never caught you taking scoops of my favorite ice cream!? Have you no shame, Gojo Satoru!”

He swats your hand off his snowy hair, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” Between you and Principal Yaga, there is a scarce few Gojo would allow to beat him up for his foolishness. He turns his head – still above the baby – to face you and releases a sigh. “I’m sorry, I was just really stoked I’d get to have that kikufuku; it’ll be a long while before I go get more…Ughhh.” Another sigh is exerted, and you can only shake your head with rolled eyes. He’s such a baby.

You bring his blindfold down to his chin to free the azure eyes he’s been hiding since this morning, and his hair falls from its spiky appearance. Then, you separate the mochi into two and push one to his lips, “You happy now?” You say with a grin. “I’m sorry, but I wanted to give these a try. Besides, we’ll have a little one to look after soon; wouldn’t it be nice for them to know what their father likes to snack on from time to time?”

Now, how in the world could Gojo still be upset with that logic? Being a father is a foreign concept he’s accepting with open arms, sharing the experience with the person he values and cherishes the most. To have a child with you is the highest honor of all for him. And imagining his small family happy and eating sweets together under his care makes his cheeks show a subtle shade of pink.

He smiles as he accepts the piece of the rice cake, chuckling when you flick his nose playfully. “You’re so sweet, angel.”

© 𝐇𝐨𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐲2024 – reblogs and comments are appreciated wholeheartedly ✩ dividers by @/benkeibear.

[mermaidgirl30]

✨Always In My Heart✨

Pre-Outbreak! Joel Miller x fem! reader

A/N: I lost my best fur baby today. October would’ve been 3 years since I adopted him. From a stray on the streets to a spoiled house cat. He battled so much. From FIV+ to broken teeth to diabetes and then to cancer. He was the best kitty ever and was my very own first cat, so he was extra special. I wrote a little one-shot to try to express how hard this loss is for me and to try to cope. I miss you, little Biscuit. Mama loves you 🥹 This is for everyone who’s ever felt the loss of losing a beloved pet.

Summary: Losing a pet is never easy, but you’re not alone because Joel is right there with you, keeping you afloat.

Word Count: 1.2k

Tags: Grief, love, soft Joel, losing a pet, angst with comfort, no use y/n, no outbreak au

Dividers by @saradika-graphics

Drip. Drip. Drip.

   The misty rain pelts on your drenched skin, and you’re cold. You’re so very cold. You can feel the chill burrowing down to your shaking, fragile bones like they may break at any moment. 

   Thunder booms through the gloomy sky, lightning flashes in the far distance, and you swear you can hear the faint cry of a lost soul deep in the woods. Can almost hear your favorite meowing coming from the covered grave in front of you…

   The grey clouds completely cover the sun, the pattering rain seems to mourn just like the cold tears that stain your cheeks. You feel lost, broken, just like your heart is. Completely shattered.

   The crunching noise of the shovel meeting the earth is almost too much for you to handle. This is too much. On your knees, fingers curling in the hollow dirt, your jeans ruined from the muddy ground. And you can’t look up, can barely open your swollen eyes as you mourn the loss of your favorite cat who had made you so very happy. 

   He was your entire world.

   You miss him so much. The feel of his long, soft fur. He felt like velvet, smelled like a warm summer’s day, and you miss the way he’d curl up on your shoulder at night, purring with affection and love. You miss his little meows, the ones that would echo down the long hallway. It always was your favorite thing to wake up to.

   But now he’s gone. Faded into the afterlife when the cancer became too much. He was a fighter, the strongest fighter you’ve ever known. But now he’s just a precious memory. 

   And it hurts. God, it hurts.

   Your tears blur your vision, your face buried in your dirt covered palms, fighting the bitter sting of losing your best fur baby. You only had him a few short years. It wasn’t enough time. And now he’s gone…

   The sobs escape your lips, and you’re now a blundering mess on the ground, asking God to just give you one more day. One more day of long cuddles and top of the head kisses. And his slow blinks. The ones he’d give you every single time you told him how much you loved him. 

   You just want him back, but life isn’t fair, and pets don’t get to stay nearly as long as you’d like. Life is cruel, and you wouldn’t wish this awful pain on your worst enemy.

   You shrink against your drenched raincoat, not even caring that your hair is tangled and dripping down your back. You don’t much care for anything right now; all you can feel is the large hole that’s gaping in your broken heart.

   The rain continues to pelt down on your shoulders, your body shaking like you’re stranded in the middle of the Arctic Ocean. The frigid waters are dragging you under, and they’re about to swallow you whole.

   Just when you think the dark depths will win, strong arms encircle your back and envelop you into a warmness that soothes the screaming voices in your head. 

   “Hey. Easy now, sweetheart. Easy.” His thick, deep drawl shrouds you in comfort while big teardrops fall against his dark green flannel. He cradles the back of your head with one hand, the other gently drawing soothing circles down the middle of your back.

   “I… I didn’t get enough time, Joel. It wasn’t enough. I should’ve done more. He could’ve had more days. I didn’t…”

   “Shhhh. S’alright, babygirl. You did more than enough. You gave him the best life he could’ve had. Do you know how lucky he was to find you? You were the best cat mama I’ve ever seen. You loved him so much, and he loved you very much,” he coos, pulling you closer to where you can smell his woodsy cologne and a hint of tobacco wafting off his tongue. 

   He feels like home. He is home.

   “You really think so?” you sputter out, tears breaking over your lash line and falling onto his soft button-up shirt.

   “Look at me,” he says gently, his hand cupping your chin and tilting your face up to look into his soft brown eyes. Eyes that make more tears spill over the edge. He catches them, wiping them off with the pads of his thumbs and softly traces them down your cheeks until you feel warmth flood your insides. “You’re such a brave girl, my love. So very brave. And you were nothin’ but loving with that cat. Even made me fall in love with him, sweetheart.”

   You giggle, your breath shaky and eyes misty. Even when you’re sad, Joel Miller can make the rainy days turn to blue skies. “He loved you, Joel. He followed you everywhere you went in the house. Especially in the mornings when you made your coffee.”

   He laughs and shakes his head, his brown eyes a little teary from the memories. “Yeah, he sure did. And I’m gonna miss him a lot.”

   “Me too,” you squeak out quietly, gripping onto him like he’s your lifeline. 

   He leans forward and traces his plush lips against your forehead, leaving you breathless with the semblance of comfort he leaves on your skin. He’s like a blanket of warmth, and he’s just saturated you in love.

   When he pulls back to look at you, he pushes a wet strand of hair behind the shell of your ear and lingers there on your cheek, sparks radiating through his touch. “I love you, sweet girl. And I know this hurts. It hurts like hell, but you’re so strong and brave. You’ll get through this. It’s gonna take time, but I’m right here to help you through it. You’re gonna be okay, sweetheart. Maybe not today, maybe not next week, but you will be. And I’ll be here through it all with you.”

   A tear slips from the corner of your eye, and then you’re crashing into him, throwing your arms around his broad back as you sniffle into the soft material. “Thank you, Joel. For being here for me. For helping me lay him to rest in our backyard, for loving him as much as you love me.”

   His fingertips brush your skin, and then your head tilts back automatically, knowing what that touch means. He leans in and places a soft, lingering kiss on your lips, the kind you want to melt in, one that tastes like honey and longing and pure comfort. When he breaks the kiss, he places another on the top of your head and pulls you flush to his chest, strong arms enveloping you once more. And it feels like peace, a place you can rest and bring life back inside your worn body.

   Joel brings you to life time and time again. And this time is no different. 

   “‘Course, sweet girl. I’ve got ya, always. I love you,” he whispers, blanketing you in love that only Joel can make you feel. 

   Suddenly, you know you’ll be okay. It might hurt for a bit, but Joel will always be here. Even on your worst days, he keeps showing you that he’ll never leave you struggling. He’ll be here for it all, loving you till the end.

[crowandmousewritingco]

Late Nights

Pairing: Marcus Pike x gn!reader

Words: 673

Rating: G (mentions of anxiety spirals)

Summary: Your brain keeps you up and a certain FBI agent keeps you company.

Author: Mod Mouse

Notes: I wrote this after having a particularly bad anxiety night so I hope this helps others when the brain juice is no good. Also unrelated but I'm surprised I've never written for this Marcus before considering my love of art so I have a feeling I will write for him more!

Late nights weren’t a new thing for the two of you. One a curator for the Smithosian’s American Art museum and the other an FBI agent dealing in art forgeries. There was always a case that needed extra work done after office hours. It was typical for the both of you to see the wee hours of the morning fueled by the strongest coffee. 

But today wasn’t one of those times. This time it was your own damn head keeping you up to the wee hours of the morning. At least with the reports you could control when you could fall asleep. But your brain was a fickle creature. Uncontrollable anxiety spiral was the choice for tonight. You had to distract your brain. 

The tv slowly played in your living room. A past favorite show playing as background noise to keep your mind from spiraling anymore. The warm cup of chamomile you held in your hands is your only hope for any semblance of medicine tonight. Absent-mindedly you watched the character repeat the same scenes that at this point you have memorized. 

The female protagonist goes on a date with a guy from her office. He says all the right things and she thinks to herself “I can’t be falling for him.” But the more they talk the more they both realize the same conclusion. Cheesy but you love it. 

You were so sucked into the comfort show that you didn’t realize your husband had walked into the living room. “Honey what’s got you up this late?” You turn to see Marcus standing at the edge of the hallway, flannel robe wrapped around himself. A Christmas present from your first Christmas as a couple all those years ago. 

“You know. Sometimes your brain mixes the wrong kind of cocktail,” You shrugged tiredly. 

Marcus frowned softly. He knew you too well not to notice the use of humor to deflect the situation. “Hun,” He said softly as he sat next to you on the couch. 

Your body unconsciously leaned into his side, like you’ve done for the whole time you’d been together. “Can’t fool you huh?” You chuckled with a sniffle as tears pricked your eyes. 

“Do you want to talk about it? Or you don’t have to. I’m more than willing to stay up with you,” Marcus offered gently, kissing your head. 

You took a minute to gather the scattered remnants of anxious thoughts before you replied. “Just do you ever have those moments where your brain decides to sow some throw away thought but then you hyperfixated on it which makes you spiral. Something like that,” You answer, sighing. 

“Can’t say I’ve ever had exactly that sort of thing happen, but I can imagine that it’s scary.” Marcus gently rubbed your side with his hand. 

“Ya it’s not fun,” You answer cuddling closer into his side. 

“Is there anything I can do?” Marcus asked. “Want me to break out those cookies you bought?” 

You giggled loving Marcus’ need for sweet popping through. “No, I think this tea and you will be enough for me tonight.” 

He smiled and leaned down to kiss your head. “Then that’s what I shall do for you.” Marcus held you close as you two watched your favorite show. The noise and the comfort of your husband is enough to finally allow you to close your eyes and sleep. 

Eventually Marcus noticed your breathing evening out. Carefully he turned off the TV, and set the half-full mug on the coffee table to deal with in the morning. Gently as to not wake you, he scooped you in his arms and carried you back to your shared bed. He laid you down on your side before sliding into the covers on his side. When the blankets covered your both, he leaned over and gently kissed your head. 

“Sweet dreams my little sunflower. I’ll protect you from those awful thoughts.” And with another forehead kiss, he pulled you close as the two of you fell back into a gentle sleep.

All Works Taglist

@for-a-longlongtime @romanarose

Pedro Character Taglist

@littlemisspascal @burntheedges

@carusolikey @thebeldroramscal

@morallyinept @lady-bess

@pedrostories @rivnedell

@pascalsanctuary @readingiskeepingmegoing

Thanks to the lovely @saradika-graphics for the dividers!

[fallenrocket]

In season 1 of We Are Lady Parts, the band is struggling to break out. There are definite calamities along the way, like that horrible article, but when they play their gig in the season finale, it feels like a real, significant first step for Lady Parts.

In season 2, the struggle is in trying to figure out how to take things to the next level. In some ways, this is easier because they're not starting from nothing. But in other ways, it's harder. This is true for numerous reasons--bigger stakes, more money involved, etc.--but for me, one of the most interesting themes the season explores is the way this struggle to reach their next step is all happening in the public eye.

No, Lady Parts isn't a chart-topping band, but they have a following, and everyone looking in on them from the outside has ideas about what they are/how they should be. There's the whole discussion about what kind of music they make: do they have something real to say, or do they just write "funny Muslim songs" (false dichotomy alert)? Clarice has strong feelings about Bisma experimenting with not wearing her hijab all the time, like she's concerned that their image as a Muslim punk band won't come through loud and clear if only two of the four are hijabis. Are they sellouts for wanting success? Are they puppets dancing to the label's demands?

These outside opinions imposed on the band come from a lot of different directions, but I think the strongest example comes when they have dinner with Second Wife. And that makes sense. Second Wife comes from an influencer background, and when they look at Lady Parts, they don't just see band members. They see content creators who are cultivating their identities for an audience. So Ayesha is a "queer icon," whether she's ready for that or not. Bisma has fewer followers than Saira and Amina, and it's because her "mumsy" image isn't hitting with fans. Amina's Villain Era (which is mainly about not letting people walk all over her) is about ditching her "girl next door" vibe to go "full Sith." If Saira is straight, then wearing flannel is "queerbaiting."

But Lady Parts isn't about any of that. They each have their own style and their own vibe, but it's based on who they are/want to be and not about what image they're trying to perform for likes or clicks or streams. They don't see their identities as a commodity, and not just because of Saira's anti-capitalist manifesto. However, all these competing voices are overwhelming. The whole band gets in their heads over all these strong opinions about which boxes they ought to fit in, and they start viewing themselves and their music through a lens of what they should do rather than who they already are. That's why the season culminates in taking that back for themselves--doing what they want and releasing their music their way.

[invisibleraven]

is there anything i can do to help?

sweet tarts

Carrie was not having a good day.

She had slept in, leaving her less time to get ready, so she didn't feel as put together as she would like, but she also had a test first thing that morning and couldn't afford to be late. Then her car gave her trouble, meaning she had to park near the back of the lot, and run to class.

From then on it was just little things, like having to eat the school lunch because she had forgotten hers at home, banging her elbow on one of the sets in drama class, and of course it was a freshly painted one. By the end of the day all she wanted to do was bury herself in her blankets and escape from the world.

But of course, when she got to her car, it wouldn't start.

No matter how many times she turned the key or stepped on the pedals-nothing. She screamed, thrashing about as she vented her frustration.

Then-a knock on her window, and she turned to see the very concerned face of Reggie Peters. She knew him by association of course, his band and hers often performed at the same venues, and he had always been very sweet, but they never spent a lot of time together.

"Hi," she said, rolling down her window. "Sorry you had to see that."

"Hey, we've all been there," Reggie replied. "Car giving you trouble?"

"Yeah, it's been acting up lately, and I guess it decided to give up the ghost," Carrie sighed, blowing a strand of hair out of her face.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" Reggie asked.

"No, I can call Triple A, and my dad can come get me," Carrie replied, getting out of the car. Only of course, her phone was dead. "This fucking day, I swear."

"Here," Reggie said, offering his own phone. "You call, I'm going to look under the hood to see if I can figure it out."

"You really don't have to-" Carrie started to say, but then her mouth dried up as Reggie stripped off his ever present flannel, tying it around his waist. Who knew he had arms like that? Carrie certainly didn't and had to shake herself from staring to even lift the phone.

"They'll be here in lik twenty minutes," Carrie said after ending he call.

"Your oil pan is drier than Arizona in the summer," Reggie replied. "No wonder she wouldn't start."

"I...I don't really know much about cars," Carrie admitted. "My dad has a guy for that."

"Well your dad's guy neglected yours," Reggie stated. "It's not hard to fix, but still-he should have been checking your oil regularly."

"I'll make sure to tell him so," Carrie replied.

"Plus your alternator is close to shot-you're essentially driving a death trap," Reggie said.

"Maybe you should be my car guy," Carrie said.

"Oh no," he demurred. "I know my way around thanks to shop class and working on tractors on my grandparents farm, but I'm no mechanic."

"You seem like one to me-far better than the boob my dad hired."

Reggie grinned, highlight a smudge of grease on his face, and Carrie had the strongest urge to wipe it off-or maybe leave it there, because it looked damn good on him.

Soon enough the tow truck was there, and the driver asked if she needed a lift to the garage.

"Nah, I'll get her home," Reggie said, and Carrie smiled at the offer-she really wasn't looking forward to getting in the dirty tow truck, and given her phone was dead she couldn't exactly call an Uber.

Reggie led her to his truck-a beat up looking red beast, but it was clean, and more importantly, worked so Carrie didn't really care. Plus he had a charge cord so her phone could slowly come back to life as he headed towards Malibu.

"Where do you live anyway?" Carrie asked. "Hopefully I'm not too far out of the way."

"Used to live in Silver Lake," Reggie hummed. "But it was a bad situation, so now I'm shacking up with the Molinas in Los Feliz."

"Oh." That...complicated matters. Carrie and Julie had been friends once upon a time, but had a falling out a few years back and hadn't spoken since. She always regretted it, but couldn't find it in herself to be the bigger person and apologize.

"Yeah, Julie's a good friend. Plus her dad lets us use his garage for band practice."

Oh yeah, the lead singer of Reggie's band was Julie's boyfriend-that made sense. Carrie just hummed, letting the LA scenery pass her by.

Reggie pulled up in front of her gate, whistling at her house. "Damn, you live here?"

Carrie shrugged. Yes, it was an impressive house, but it was also empty, lonely, and not really a home. Not like the one it sounded like Reggie had with the Molinas. "Thanks for the ride."

"Anytime," Reggie said with a smile. "And when you get your death trap back, if you want me to look at it, just gimme a call."

"Cuz your my car guy now?"

"I'm your guy for whatever you need," he said sincerely.

Carrie couldn't help but blush at that, biting back a smile as she waved goodbye, squealing a little as she shut the door behind her.

"Hey Carrie," her dad greeted her-a rarity for sure, but there he was, sipping a tea at the kitchen counter. "Good day?"

Carrie beamed, going over to make herself a cup as well. "The best."

[ohtobeleah]

i was thinking about your “murph” one shot and in my head jake and agony are like best friends

so just imagine him going to her house after her maternity leave to work out with her and being super supportive of her saying things like “you’re even stronger now that you’re a mother”

M.U.R.P.H

Wait stop it this is so cute. 🥺 Jake would be the most supportive person especially if Bradley spilled the beans and let it slip that you were feeling pretty mundane and convinced that now you were a mum that your career was over.

And I mean Hangman doesn’t get how you put that idea together in your head but at the same time he does understand why you’d be feeling that way. The Navy isn’t the greatest when it comes to supporting women in rolls that were usually held by men in an industry typically dominated by men. You just happen to have the double whammy. You got the Navy and the Fitness Industry cramming misogynistic rhetoric down your throat. 

So Jake does what he does best. He’s your husbands wingman after all. Which means by default he’s yours for life wether you like it or not.

“I saw some girl doing this on a leg press—“ Jake groans out as you hover around him. He can practically smell the newborn scent coming from the sleeping tot in your wrap. Snug to your chest as you check his form.

“That makes it a single leg leg press not a Bulgarian Split Squat.” You replied with a soft chuckle as you kiss your baby girls head. She smelt so fresh. “Just keep your hips straight, shut up and do your reps.”

“You’re really mean now you know that right?” Jake knows that you’ve been dealing with some postpartum depression—mainly because whenever you looked in the mirror you saw everything that had changed and nothing that resembled your former self. The doctors warned Bradley that there would be an adjustment period, but he never thought you’d be so hard on yourself. He thought you’d give yourself some time to recover, and slowly build up to where you were before you fell pregnant.

“You know what my name is right?” You were still in your flannels, with Hangman being the only one who really pushed to continue one on one PT you saw no need to change when you rolled out of bed at a crisp 5am to meet him in the garage that he had a clicker for. Baby girl strapped to your chest like the succubus Jake claimed her to be. Draining all the life from his best friends wife, so his best friend.

“Agony—and it’s fitting too you psychopath.” She was cute—he’d give her that much. Jake groaned as he pushed through his last two and dropped the dumbbells to the floor. “Done, what’s next chief?”

“RDL’s but here I’ll set your rack up because after last time I don’t trust you.” You chuckled as you unwrapped your baby girl. “She’s sleeping and it gives you some time to breathe.” Jake sat back on the soft box you’d had him doing box jumps on for his warm out as you handed him little baby Bradshaw.

“Hi baby—“ Jake cooed, holding her to his chest as she slept. “Did you know that your mama is the strongest woman I know?” He whispered just loud enough for you to hear as you walked over towards the rack. Catching Jakes reflection in the mirror. “She is, and she won’t give herself a chance to breathe will she?” He shook his his head as if your daughter was going to respond. “No, no she won’t and she needs to, doesn’t she.”

“You got something to say over there Seresin?”

“Me and Little Lilly here were just talking about how you need to start cutting yourself some slack.” He sighed as he stood from the place he’d recently perched upon. Cradling your daughter in one arm. She looked so tiny in Bradley’s arms, Jakes too. “You’re gonna get back to where you were.”

“People aren’t gonna take me seriously if I can’t lead by example—“ You shook your head as you loaded up the bar for Jake like it was moving paper. He frowned as he bounced softly and watched as you set up a 220 pound barbell for his first set of three reps. You weren’t joking when you said he was going heavy huh?

But what really took him by surprise was that you racked it at chin height. He thought you were going ask him to front squat the bar down. But no. You did. You cleaned it from the rack and with easy, placed it down with a thud on the ground.

What about that didn’t scream strong?

“I take you seriously.” Jake placed a gentle hand shoulder on your shoulder. “Even if you show up to our PT sessions in flannels.” He shrugged the taunt off. “And you just cleaned 220 off the rack without any problems, if you think you aren’t strong and fierce and won’t get back to where you were before this little crotch goblin I think you’re wrong.”

“Jake—that’s very sweet, really, but I just don’t see it when I look in the mirror.” You’re looking at Jake in the mirror, he’s standing behind you looking you head in the eye. He’s never been more serious.

“You gave birth to a whole human, in the administration building unmedicated and you’re telling me you don’t feel powerful and strong and fucking badass.” You jabbed your elbow into his rib when he swore. “Sorry—she’s sleeping anyway.”

“It’s different—“ You end the conversation at that but Jake has one more thing to say to your little girl before he hands her over, Bradley sees the interaction from the doorway he’s leaning against. He’d just gotten out of bed and thought he’d make sure you hadn’t killed his best friend yet.

“You’re mama’s superwoman baby girl, just you watch, her comes-backs personal.”

[mouse-fantoms]

Unless said otherwise I am lead to believe that that boy has a whole collection of all his flannels in one of those bags up there in that loft, he has them in all the colors, he just favors the red flannel but he has all the colors for any occasion.

Since the boys can touch Julie now, Reggie would be giving her bear hugs all the time, he’s a hugger.

He’s a helpful ghost to Ray, like the man leaves anything behind Reggie will indeed find it and just leave it in plain sight for him to find.

Once Ray knows about the boys, he keeps a little notebook in the kitchen so it’s easier for them to talk to him. He’s got a red pen, pink pen and a blue pen for the respected boys. That red pen is always writing in that book with the occasional blue and pink but mostly red.

Him and Ray have cooking sessions, it’s handy having another pair of hands in the kitchen, you get used to the floating ingredients.

Carlos films paranormal tiktoks (hey it helps promote his sisters band) him and Reggie are always thinking of new ones to do. All the “ghosts” in them are just Reggie.

We were robbed of Reggie in guy-liner (like those pictures exist) but that’s enough for me to have the thinking that Julie and Reggie bond over like sharing eyeliner tips with one another. He’ll do eyeliner when he’s feelin like it but it’s always with Julie, it’s a good bonding moment for them

I am starved for Reg lore and headcanons I need more,,, I only recently found out he supposedly had a brother named Steve and now I want more,,,,,

We were given so little of Reggie’s past compared to the others, like we get told his parents fought, his house got turned into a bike shop, and he really appreciates his found family,,,,,,,

[thisaintascenereviews]

2010s Pop-Punk, I Knew Thee Well: A Retrospective

The 2010s were an interesting and eventful decade that brought us a lot, but every time I look back on it, I find it to be a simpler time. I was only in my mid-20s as the decade closed, but I have fond memories of a lot of stuff, especially the music I liked. The 2010s were marked by a couple of things, namely my fascination with indie-rock in the early 2010s, but the decade was really defined by my love of 2010s pop-punk. More specifically, 2011 - 2017. That’s where I’m trying to go with this, because the decade was rampant with pop-punk, but mainly in that time frame. Weird to think that pop-punk is big now, at least in the mainstream, but in the underground and alternative scenes, pop-punk was booming. You had a lot of the veterans of the genre from the 90s and 00s, like New Found Glory, Simple Plan, Yellowcard, Taking Back Sunday, Sum 41, and many others, but a lot of new bands began to emerge. Bands like State Champs, Four Year Strong, Neck Deep, The Wonder Years, and Real Friends, as well as some bands from the late 00s, like All Time Low and The Maine, were becoming huge. All the bands I just mentioned are already veterans by this point, but this is was it was all brand new. The idea of the stereotypical “pop-punk kid” was born — snapbacks, flannels, khakis, band shirts, Taco Bell, vinyl, and whatever else you can think of.

I was certainly the embodiment of that stereotype, but I wore it with pride. I still listened to all kinds of music, but I was in love with pop-punk. Over the past few years, I’ve been falling back in love with it, because of this new crop of bands popping up, such as Honey Revenge, Magnolia Park, Stand Atlantic, and a few others, that are really taking the genre to new and exciting heights. I’ll talk about them more later, but the genre has gotten revitalized again. I look back at that time fondly now, and I wanted to talk about the scene at large, as well as some key bands from that scene to contextualize why I loved it so much. The scene as a whole was interesting, because you had a few subsets of bands, whether it was more “emo” acts, bands that had a pop slant to their brand of pop-punk, bands that worshipped 90s alternative and grunge, easycore bands, or more straightforward bands that didn’t do anything out of the ordinary.

You also had the bands that were from the previous generation, but they came back with some of their strongest material in years. This is the first kind of pop-punk I wanted to talk about, because two of my favorite pop-punk albums from 2012, Yellowcard’s Southern Air and All Time Low’s Don’t Panic, come from this group of bands. Yellowcard’s last album wasn’t bad or anything, but I remember people really being into Southern Air when it came out, and it was this lightning in a bottle album, where everything came together so perfectly. Don’t Panic, however, blew people away for being a return to form when their last couple albums were more pop-rock albums.

One of my favorite kinds of pop-punk at that time was easycore, where pop-punk and breakdowns meet in the middle, and the 2010s had a lot of them. The big ones were Four Year Strong, City Lights, Abandoned By Bears, and A Day To Remember (at least if you’re feeling like debating with fans of the genre on whether or not they’re real easycore). There were a ton of smaller bands, too, like Settle Your Scores, Carousel Kings, Bad Case Of Big Mouth, Kid Liberty, Knockout Kid, and a ton more, but the genre started to disappear by the second half of the 2010s. The genre just wasn’t popular anymore, and a lot of these bands either broke up or changed their sound.

What took its place (but also concurrently existed with it during its prime) were a few things, namely pop-influenced pop-punk, emo-influenced pop-punk, and grunge-influenced pop-punk. You had a handful of bands with one of those sounds popped up, and while I’m a fan of the first category these days (as I like my pop-punk catchy and slick), I enjoyed bands from the other two camps, too. Bands like State Champs and Broadside really kickstarted bands playing with pop sensibilities, or at least being open about it, but other bands like Citizen and Balance & Composure went into a grungier direction. Bands like Transit and Turnover were more emo in tone, although they also had an indie-rock influence, too.

The main group of bands that were getting big at that time were bands that were more straightforward, such as The Story So Far, Neck Deep, Man Overboard, The Wonder Years, and many more, and most of these bands are still around today. They didn’t really mess with the formula that much, but they updated it and perfected it. Pop-punk was the “it genre” for many years, which is funny, because it didn’t get big into the mainstream until a couple of years ago, it fell to the wayside in the underground for a brief few years by the end of the decade.

Hell, I remember writing a farewell piece to the genre in 2015 when State Champs’ sophomore album came out, because I remember being so disappointed with that album. It just sounded like their debut down to a tee, and it just didn’t work for me, but it made me realize how just bland, uninspired, and uninteresting the genre had become by that point. It wouldn’t be for a few more years that I’d be heavily invested with the genre again (State Champs’ following album was a lot better, as well as really played with the pop sensibilities of their sound). Too many copycat bands began coming up, and the genre got too saturated, so I stopped caring about it for a long time.

Nowadays, the genre has been moving in a very interesting, ambitious, and fun way. I mentioned a few of those bands earlier, such as Magnolia Park, Honey Revenge, Stand Atlantic, The Home Team, and bands like Meet Me @ The Alter, as these bands are bringing new and interesting perspectives to the genre, whether it’s women, POC, or LGBTQIA+ folks. The music is also a lot more interesting, incorporating pop, R&B, country, and hip-hop to the genre, versus being so straightforward and uninteresting. I’m excited for the future of the genre, but there is something to be said about the 2010s, and the heyday of the genre. I have fond memories of finding new bands, and witnessing the rise of bands that are essentially vets now, but the genre is alive and well now, especially for the inclusivity and diversity the genre has lacked for many years.

[tryhardgwen]

rs archive 12/17/2023:

re: all my love fic. did you have any "keywords" for each character? (aka "stars, gardens" for wooje, "safety, unchanging" for hyunjoon) if you did, could you share them, or any of the threads of inspiration you kept in mind while writing?

i never had like, specific keywords at least not like i was aware of it but now that i think about it... i had a loT of inspiration.

like hyunjoon for example, obviously the mustang is a big part point but i chose that because mustangs just resonated with the character and what they sort of "stand for" i mean theyre a ford. all americana, freedom, romance, like.. mustangs have a sort of vibe to them. the same vibe john cougar mellencamp has. also, flannels, the vibe there. a key word for him, i guess would be consistent, and supportive. also--the moon, subtlety, steadiness.

wooje i connected to really fast blowing wind and highways; oddly enough that one scene in chapter one--where he pulls over on the shoulder of the i-5 and throws up--is a key part of his character. lmao? like, when i think of him, i think of that. the cold air and the strong fucking wind blowing past bc of all the cars going >80 mph. idk how to describe that. a big part of him was how light he was compared to everything around him too--his pale white skin in comparison to the dark discolored cigarette burns, his gold california soul compared to the darker washington greens. i relate him to the sky a lot. although i do put a lot of evening scenes in i think hes actually a creature of daylight. not of the sun, but the light blue sky and denim jackets and i never made him wear a denim jacket did i? goddamn it. so for him, light (as in the shade adjective not as in the type light noun), and sky, and nature. a lot of him is connected to nature, u can tell from my metaphors lmao.

minseok is all powdered sugar and CARDIGANS (!!) i imagine he had a very all over the place but chic and cute fashion sense. hes all candy colors and dependability (like mentioned in chap 1, he used to have pink hair hehe) he was stability, and home. really homey. like bring in the fucking xenia and agape (love in hospitality and in altruism). i think minseok, especially, is capital l Love. thats partly why i made him say the fic name in the letter heh. he was one of if not the strongest tie wooje had to home (platonic relationships matter..!!) he is Love as a person.

sanghyeok is red roses and Father. he is older brother. in the flashbacks, u can see he shows reluctance at being called hyunjoon/minhyungs brother, esp at first, and he STILL kind of feels that. hes uncomfortable with the position hes put in, much more than seongwoong is, yet he fits it so, so well. more associations: math. whiskey, cigarettes, bad habits he knows he should quit but cant. sanghyeok as a character is... well i dont wanna dive TOO deep bc i have a solo fic for him in the drafts but yes o7

seongwoong i mostly thought about him in relation to the shop? like i think of him and i think, traditional husband. oil, cars, gears, whatever the fuck. mechanic. stability, dad jokes. cool uncle. but he also has a softer side- homemaker! baker! gardener. hes all constant smiles, glasses held up by his smiling cheeks.

minhyung is the grounded one. he is very, very grounded in reality, but he become very silly around minseok. hes big loving himbo but hes also.. the most serious of them all. idk. hes like, prime older brother material but hes low on the totem pole. so like the oldest of that small group of cousins at the family get together who has no REAL power within the family. just within the cousins. and, hell, they get pulled away once their parents call for them.

jojo: mayonnaise.

[beybeys-world]

Could you please do another Gareth one please! It could be fluff or smut! Thanks :)

Gareth Dating HCS/ scenarios

Hello Anon!! Just a disclaimer to you I dont write smut and the Gareth fiction you saw was a reblog of another wonderful creator! (Full credits to them on the post!)

Warnings: mentions PDA and kissing, slight cursing, fluff, No pronouns mentioned, mentions to It (2017)

Masterlist, Request Guidelines, Request box

When it comes to liking you I feel like hes one to just keep you as a hallway crush at first. Just embracing your presence from afar. He believes, it wont get any farther than you not knowing he exists, so he just accepts his fate. That is until he is forced by hellfire to stop being a "bitchboy" and make the first move.

His first move would be him slipping cute little "secret admirer" notes in your locker. He waits behind a wall near your locker and likes to see your cute reaction once you read it.

Before you started talking he subtly asked about you through your friends to learn about your interests. When he first sparks up conversation, (which he practiced in the mirror multiple times before doing so) he begins to talk about your favorite albums or compliment something you enjoy! His research shocks you but creates a bond between you both.

I'll leave how you both started dating up to you and your imagination or another fic but, he is a wonderful boyfriend.

Even if you don’t ask, Gareth is big on gift giving. He doesn't expect anything back (just your company) but some gifts might include...

Custom Mix tapes with your favorite songs, and songs that remind him of you, lots of love songs, maybe even drum covers if he has the equipment.

Pins LOTS AND LOTS of them.

Something you eyed in a store or happy ranted about

His necklaces or a matching one

Rings!! (i feel like hes a big ring guy)

More about rings...

He plays with yours if you wear any. Likes to swap rings (sometimes he gets it stuck on his fingers since your ring sizes are different)

He also seems like one to wear your ring on a necklace to show off to the club.

Gareth puts up a resting bitch face, but MELTS into your presence because he can't help himself to smile at you. Your perfect and how can he keep a tight frown when you're in the same radius as him?

I just have a strong feeling Gareth is a big music junkie so, music everywhere ALL the time. Portable music player, loud speaker, car stereo, etc.

He breaks his walk man often by jabbing it, if it isn't working (sometimes it fixes itself other times it breaks)

WILL JUMP SCARE YOU!! He feels guilty about it after and brings into a hug and twirls you around while pecking your cheek.

"I’m sorry babyyy, your reactions are just too cute, I had to"

(like Ben from IT 2017) I firmly believe Gareth is a secret New Kids On The Block fan thanks to his little sister(s). He refuses to tell anyone in hellfire about it and doesn't even tell you! You found out while looking through his tapes. The poor guy is super embarrassed about it and makes you swear not to tell anyone.

Gareth is a big brother and loves his younger siblings to death.

His siblings adore you, and like to make childish jokes about you and Gareth.

Very bubbly and funny with you. He feels most comfortable and most like himself when around you.

The type to sing into a hairbrush and give a dramatic performance in his room with you and you only.

Speaking of hair! He has a unbelievable amount of hair products and has a full routine that he is very proud of!

He adores when you ruffle his hair and will even place your hand on top of his head while cuddling, signaling you to ruffle his hair

May not be THE strongest, but will do his best to gut ANYONE who makes you uncomfortable.

Has little to no clothes that ARENT flannel.

Encourages you to let him teach you how to play drums!

You sit on his lap while his hands are on yours, slowly moving to the rhythm. Gets distracted sometimes and just melts into your touch and kisses your neck.

Would learn your favorite song on drums to impress you.

As much as he loves his drums, you could light them on fire and he wouldn't bat an eye. (he is WHIPPED for you)

Bonus points for you if you play guitar or even drums!! He loves watching you play, no matter how skilled you are,

At Corroded Coffin shows, he gets PUMPED to see you in the crowd and is immediately a static ball of energy. (to which Eddie needs to tell him to chill tf out)

Honestly, he always gets pumped to see you and starts doing happy jumps and smiles ear to ear.

Saves heavy PDA for more private areas but always has physical contact with you. He likes to know your with him!

Very respectful around adults, more importantly your parents/guardians. Ex. “uhm.. hello Ms. L/N, is Y/n available?”

Overall, Gareth is the sweetest boyfriend, like EVER. 

I HOPE THIS WAS ENJOYABLE ANON!! I have SOOOO much more Gareth head canons so feel free to request Gareth! (I am chronically head over heels for him right now) My master list and request box are both open and are linked at the top of this post! Thank you for supporting my writing! Have a wonderful day or night!

-Ahzy

[sluttystucky]

𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐠𝐨𝐥𝐝 (𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐝 𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮) || 𝐛. 𝐛𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐬.

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 : on your sixteenth birthday, the first words your soulmate will speak to you appear on your wrist. in a world where it's quite common to get a simple 'hi what can i get you' or common phrases, you've managed to get their name. that doesn't make it easier to find him. read on a03

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 : tfatws!bucky barnes x f!reader 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 : 4,406 words 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 : **WARNING! MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, I BLOCK BLANK BLOGS & ONES WITHOUT AN AGE IN BIO** use of y/n, angsty, mentions of previous relationships but it doesn't go into too much detail, vague spoilers of most of the avengers films ig, mentions of bombing (civil war, UN bombing), nervous!bucky, open ended?

𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬 :  i don't know what happened, i just know i love soulmate au's and then bits and pieces came to mind so i had to rush to write them down before i forgot what i was writing in my head. i only post on tumblr and ao3, so please let me know if you recognise my writing anywhere else.

also!! while this one-shot doesn't involve smut, i still insist that minor's do not interact as a majority of my writing does. i do not feel comfortable with individuals under the age of eighteen interacting with my writing. by clicking read more, you're telling me you're over the age of eighteen. please respect my boundaries.

You remember laughing when you saw the words, your soulmates name achingly familiar now written on your wrist in charcoal lettering. In a world where most people got a simple Hello or their coffee order on their skin, you’d managed to get a full name in there.

Of course, you’d had a minor panic about the fact your soulmate was not just dead but dead, dead when your dad helped you place where you knew the name from, and then you’d both laughed the panic off when your mother pointed out that peoples whose soulmates have passed have faded ink which yours was thankfully not.

Still, the words were rather odd.

“My name is James ‘Bucky’ Barnes, I am no longer the Winter Soldier and you're a part of my efforts to make amends” Whatever that meant, was written in dark, easy to read font across the delicate skin of your wrist.

It became a running joke, somehow. A really odd one at that but something you and your family would laugh about occasionally that somehow you’d gotten a soulmate that had the exact same name as one of the Howling Commandos, Captain America’s best friend no less.

None of you ever did discuss how weird, how daunting the words were though, your mother made certain of it and sometimes the latter part of the sentence kept you up into the early hours of the morning. She was so caught up in the joy you'd get an advantage at finding your soulmate with his name being there, she refused to look further into it.

But sometimes late at night, long past when your mother had gone to bed and only your father was left in the living room, you'd both discuss them. All your fears about your soulmate and the meaning about these words would spill from you as your head rested against your dad's shoulder, kept quiet and safe by the darkness of the room and the late night comedy shows he'd stay up so late watching.

Humour was the coping mechanism of your choice, but during those nights you'd spill the fears you'd otherwise kept hidden into the flannel of your father's sleep shirt.

"What if he's really a bad person, dad? Like a really bad person. What has he done that makes his first words to me this?" You'd sob, listening to your fathers deep sigh as he tried to find words to comfort you. It wasn't his strongest suit but he always managed it.

News breaks that Captain America came out of the ice during your sophomore year of college, and then the whole soulmate thing felt odd. There's an underlying feeling, an unease you can't explain when you hear it but you try to brush it off.

You'd doubt meeting Steve Rogers was very likely, no matter the fact you were both in New York but the idea of joking about with a name of a dead guy started to feel like it was in bad taste.

That hadn't stopped your father from piping up, "Hey, at least if you ever meet him you get to say your soulmate has the same name as his best friend" and your mother promptly giving him a light smack on the arm and a stern look.

It wasn't long after that you'd watched aliens rip apart the city and your beloved, beaten down Honda used as a boost by the god damn Hulk of all people so suffice to say soulmates weren't really your biggest concern.

Dating at all wasn't your biggest concern. Despite the knowledge of having a soulmate, it didn't stop people from dating around. You'd met people you'd really liked but all relationships tended to come to their end eventually. The reason was a toss-up between the other party finding their soulmate or your focus waning.

You hadn't really bothered to seek out your soulmate after the chaos of New York's Chitauri Invasion either, far too caught up in wrapping up your junior and senior years of college to the best of your ability.

Any other time you'd try to search the name it always showed you historical sites recounting the obvious one. And really, were you gonna add all the Bucky Barnes' or James Barnes' on Facebook in hopes one of them was your soulmate when you had finals that were already riding your ass to prepare for? No.

You don't have time for dating and soulmates, you speak that out into the universe to settle that fact.

Of course that's when Natasha Romanoff leaks all of the S.H.I.E.L.D, and affectively HYDRA's files. Hashtag #SHIELDLEAK gaining in numbers on Twitter and Tumblr, really any social media site, as more decrypted information is pushed out into the public.

Such as this: Bucky Barnes is alive and had been operating as an assassin for HYDRA since the sixties. Bucky Barnes was the Winter Soldier.

So shit you think at 2:37am as you sit in your dimly lit bedroom in your shitty little apartment, room covered in revision notes and papers that you hardly care about because this! This is absurd.

Your soulmate doesn't have the same name as a war hero, he is a fucking war hero. A war hero who is most definitely Not dead as it seems but was instead brainwashed for decades from what you're able to read.

You pull back the sleeve of your cardigan, revealing the lettering on your wrist you've grown familiar with. Gently your finger traces the latter part of the sentence, "I am no longer the Winter Soldier and you're a part of my efforts to make amends”

There's no news you can find about him being in custody but his words help you drift later that night into sleep with a small smile on your face, because one day he's going to meet you and he'll no longer be The Winter Soldier.

You wouldn't say you're a Pariah by any means, but following the news that actual Bucky Barnes is alive and, you know, a former brainwashed assassin the jokes die down. In fact, all soulmate talk dies down around you— even when it's not necessarily related to you and yours.

Your mother starts bringing up dates, specifically dates with other people. 'Oh, Helen's son is back in town. You remember him, so nice and he's got a good job. Good money. You should ask him to dinner, you both always were good friends in school'

You do go on some of those dates she mentions, not because she insists but because she's right. They are nice and dating now that you're finally finished with college is so much easier. They never do go anywhere though, much to your mother's chargin.

You were glad the jokes had originally been an inside joke between you and your parents only, and that you'd kept the words private because if the weird nature your parents had adopted since news broke out extended to friends you were sure you'd scream.

Your mother spoke of an app your neighbour was using with her daughters so she'd know they were safe, a Life360 and you'd had to remind her that Janet's daughters were twelve and fifteen. You were a college graduate.

Your father, on the other hand, started amping up the security in your tiny apartment following the bombing at the UN. A video-recording doorbell, security cameras inside, alarms on the windows— the whole nine yards. He never asked for access, just installed it all and helped you set it all up like he thought Bucky was going to come and kill you in the night.

Unlikely, you think as there's a man-hunt for him as this all goes down. Even from an outsiders point of view you can see chaos brewing within the Avengers world, so you highly doubt he's wasting his time looking for you.

It's weeks later as you're slumped against the counter of the coffee shop you're working at that you see the Avenger's have disbanded on the news, split in two and now half are fugitives.

Yeah, you highly doubt his soulmate is high on his list of priorities you think to yourself, grabbing the control and turning the volume up higher.

Okay, so, maybe you start to take the words printed on your wrist a little more seriously nowadays. Especially the amends part. Because that implies something bad, something Bucky did that was bad results in him coming to you to make amends.

And considering his past as, you know, a brainwashed assassin, that thing can only be something terrible.

So yeah, you're on edge now. Always waiting for the other shoe to drop in your otherwise normal life. But nothing happens.

You're not kidnapped, you don't get murdered (that you're aware of at least) and no one else in your life dies of mysterious circumstances. You're not accused of any crimes you didn't commit nor anything else that you imagine would warrant in him having to make amends.

It's driving you up the wall to say the least.

You've even started asking about family members who'd died, but you can't imagine HYDRA cared enough about your grandma who'd knit cardigans for her cats enough to be involved with her dying in her sleep when you were six.

Your life being so mundane is becoming quite irritating these days.

You're beginning to think that maybe, just maybe, New York isn't the best place to be when Superheroes and Aliens exist. There's screaming in the streets, tattered buildings and some weird-ass space craft doing whatever the fuck it's doing.

"Why can't it be Paris, why can't Paris get the aliens?" you're grumbling to yourself as the sound of table lets scraping against the linoleum tiles grates in your ears. Truthfully, you're also (kind of) bemoaning the fact that Aliens' chose to invade when you were working because now you and a bunch of college students slash graduates have to barricade this place, lest Corporate get your ass.

"Easy," says Jake, some sophomore whose only two weeks barely on the job you've become a little fond of. "Paris doesn't have the Avengers. And where the Avengers are, trouble follows." He finishes with a huff. Despite the situation, you find yourself laughing.

The five of you, plus a handful of customers stuck in here with you wait it out until they retreat. As soon as the streets clear and you dismantle the barricade, it's as if life continues as normal.

For an alien invasion you give it a 5/10, underwhelming compared to previous situations. There's minimal damage to the shop, but corporate still closes the store down until they can get an inspector to give them the ok.

Life is normal, you think as you enjoy your unexpected days off on the couch. Naturally, you turn to dust a few days later, much to your roommates horror.

Suffice to say, adjusting to five years going by in what felt like seconds for you was difficult. Heartfelt reunions with your family came and went in what felt like days before the harsh reality of life set back in.

There were celebrations for the lives brought back and mourning for the Avengers lost.

You were lucky, in a sense, that your roommate had politely boxed up your belongings and brought them to your parents a few short months after the snap but your job? Gone. Your mother pulled some strings to get you a job while you got back on your feet, working for a friend of a friend's grandmother in her seamstress shop.

It was a small, unassuming unit up the stairs of a building burrowed between a Chinese food place and a mini mart that you'd struggle to find on your first attempt to get to work but eventually you found a stern, older looking woman waiting outside the door who summoned you towards her as she crooked her finger in a come hither motion.

The entire walk up the narrow stairway that led up to all the different units was filled with the daunting feeling in your chest and her complaints of you taking away her precious time.

You didn't know your way around needle and thread, nor a sewing machine but you knew customer service so she quickly set you to work and throwing you in the deep end when the phone begins to ring.

You're still there three months later, smiling politely and wishing each customer a good day despite the line forming. You've learnt the most efficient ways to get customers orders out to them as fast as you can, your eyes scanning their order numbers printed on the cards they all clutch before they can even hand them to you.

It's when the last of the ladies turns to leave that you see him behind her and your mouth goes dry. Because here he is, you'd know that face anywhere. You'd seen it in pages of history books, on the walls of museums and wanted posters.

Bucky Barnes, standing awkwardly and pulling a tight smile to his face when your previous customer startles at the large man she'd failed to notice behind her this whole time. He was here, and now what?

Words were apparently not what because not a single word was coming out of your mouth. The silence stretches awkwardly, both of you looking each other in the eyes while the heels of Dolores' shoes tap against the floors.

You release a shuddered breath you hadn't realised you were holding when the door closes behind her, the bell chiming loudly.

Bucky swallows thickly, you notice before he speaks. “My name is James ‘Bucky’ Barnes, I am no longer the Winter Soldier and you're a part of my efforts to make amends” He says, words sounding well practiced if not monotone.

And, yeah.... Years later and you still have no reason you can think of why those words would be directed at you. Your eyes scan the area, checking behind you to see if Mrs Collins has appeared behind you and maybe he's speaking to her but no (and truly, it's wishful thinking. That's not how they work).

Looking back to the super soldier you feel your brows furrow, confusion written entirely on your face. "I really don't think I am." You wince, watching as his eyes fill heavy with confusion before quickly flaring in recognition.

"I mean, I think this is great — don't get me wrong — but I can honestly say that I've not had anything happen to me that I can account to the Winter Soldier." Standing up from your seat at the counter, you walk around to face him.

"You're—" He starts, only for his words to dry up in his mouth and you get it. You shoot a sympathetic look his way, hand coming up to rub at his shoulder only to falter at the last second. Awkwardly you bring it back down to your side and take a step back to give him a little space.

Blue eyes are staring at you now, filled with confusion and pain. Quickly and efficiently you pull the sleeve of your shirt up to reveal your wrist and show him.

"You know, I always thought I was lucky because I got my soulmates name on my wrist. That's, like, a head start or something to finding them, right? But then over the years I found out that it wasn't someone who had a really specific namesake and, you know, was you.

But then I really took in the words, so I've literally been waiting for my life to go to shit, Bucky. Something, anything bad to happen and it's just not happened. No suspicious deaths, pretty sure I haven't been abducted."

Shaking his head, Bucky heaves out a sigh. "During my time as the Winter Soldier, I was tasked with assassinating an enemy of Hydra. Your father came across the scene of the crime and tried to help, I killed him and staged it to look like a car accident." His voice is apologetic, eyes searching yours as confusion takes over you entirely. What the fuck is he on about?

"I'm so sorry, Jean" He tries, mimicking your earlier actions and bringing his hand up to some and comfort you only to cut himself off last minute and resist.

So yeah, you can say with the utmost certainty that he has nothing to amend for. "Bucky," You start slowly, picking up his gloved hands and holding them in yours awkwardly. "Let me repeat myself: I really don't think I am. My name isn't Jean and my father is very much alive."

Looking up at him you can see the cogs turning in that brain of his, a quiet What falling from his lips as he scans your face. "My name is Y/N and I'm pretty sure you've got the wrong place, definitely the wrong person because like I said. Not Jean."

A curt Oh falls from his lips and you find yourselves being brought back into an uncomfortable silence. Suddenly the phone rings, startling the pair of you and you bound over to the over side of the desk to answer, quickly taking note of an order's details. The call is quick but you still find yourself disappointed when you hear the bell chime on the door before you say your goodbyes to the customer.

As far as first meetings with a soulmate, you have to admit that could have gone better. You imagine it has to take guts to come up to someone and take accountability for a loved ones death (though you hardly think he needs to on account of the, you know, brain washing) only for someone to turn around and say 'Yeah, you've got the wrong person'.

Especially when you then realise that person is your soulmate, your one that's the one and all that other crap.

Still it hurt how fast he'd left, not even giving you a goodbye as he'd fled. There wasn't even a rush for you to distract yourself with, no orders that needed to be filed. For once you cursed your organisation skills because you were simply left to your own thoughts.

By the time your shift is over and the shop is closed, you're cursing yourself for not chasing Bucky down. The chances of you managing to catch him were, admittedly, quite low but at least you could have said you tried.

You've just gotten out onto the street, the sounds of rain drizzling, cars driving through puddles and car horns filling your ears. Turning to your right, you intend to make your way to your car only to stop short at the sight before you.

Bucky Barnes, once again. Only this time he looks like he's as shocked by his reappearance as you are with that deer in the headlights look in his eyes and way he's clutching a bunch of flowers in his hands like a lifeline.

"Bucky?" comes your perplexed response, stepping closer to him. "You.. You're back?" you ask, head tilting in your confusion.

You give him a moment to respond but instead watch his eyes widen in panic and thrust the crumpled flowers towards you, their petals pressed against your top.

"I, uh, bought them before I came over." He says, spitting his words out quick like he's afraid they'll escape him if he doesn't. "'Didn't really think it through, so 'had to stuff 'em in my jacket. 's why they're so messed up." Nervously he scratches at the back of his ear with his other hand.

Taking them from him gingerly, delicately prying his fingers from them when you realise he's still holding on for dear life. Bucky lets out an embarrassed huff when he realises, earning him a fond smile from you that he can't help but want to see more of.

"Thank you" You murmur quietly into the bunch, the loud sounding of a car alarm being triggered in the street reminding you both that you're stood in the middle of the street.

"Walk me to my car? We can talk on the way" Bucky's quick to agree, offering his arm for you to link onto as you both walk. "They're beautiful, by the way. Thank you, you really didn't have to."

"Course I did, especially after how I left off earlier." he argues, quickly cutting you off when he hears your noises of disagreement. "I shouldn't have ran like that, I just... This wasn't how I expected this to go, shit."

He brings his forefinger and thumb to rub away the tension building behind his eyes, your own hand coming to rub at his leather clad arm to soothe some, any tension you can. "This isn't how I practiced it with Dr Raynor" His quiet, pained voice mutters under his breathe before forcing himself to look down to where you're curled against his arm.

"You know who I am" Bucky says finally. It's not a question, not an accusation either. Just a fact, earning a gentle nod in response from you. Quietly he adds, "I wasn't expecting you to know who I am."

"Well, like I said, your name has been on my wrist since I was sixteen years old." You hum, tugging on his arm to turn the corner to the parking lot. "Thought the name was a coincidence though, then Black Widow did the S.H.I.E.L.D leak and I started to put things together."

"I'm sorry" Is all he says in reply, the familiar silence stretching over the both of you.

"For what?" You ask with a quirk of the brow, watching as he gestures to your wrist with a nod of the head. "The words? How long it all is? Do you always do long sentences like that?"

"No. I'm sorry you have that on your arm." He says finally, "I wish you could have had something, anything else but that on your arm."

The parking lot you park your car in comes into view, making your steps falter for a second. You don't want to give Bucky another excuse to leave, no matter how much you want to sink into your couch.

"Don't be, nobody has control over what these words will be. I've had long enough to think these words through, Bucky. What the implications were, knowing your history. I know what I'd be getting into."

"What you'd be getting into..." he croaks out and you feel heat rising to your cheeks, you stop your walking and try to hide your face in your shoulder. "I came to you apologising for murdering a man and you still wanna consider 'what you'd be getting into', huh?"

"Think of it like this," Your tongue comes out to wet your lips, Bucky's eyes following the movement before ducking his head. "What kind of soulmate would I be if I just gave up on you without actually giving you a chance."

"A rational one, probably" He counters, but there's a warm smile you haven't seen on him before breaking out on his lips. He's resisting the urge to wipe the stray drop of rain on your face, scared to see if you'll flinch from his touch.

Instead, Bucky looks around the street before seeing the parking lot. "That where you're parked, doll?"

You sigh, disappointment filling you because his acknowledgement means the encounter is coming to a close. Nodding, your hand snakes around his left bicep once again.

Bucky gives a quiet murmur of C'mon as he continues to walk you to your car, his arm coming to rest around your waist as the sounds of the city filling the silence you both create. This time it's a more comfortable silence, though.

It's not until you're smacking the roof of your car and wiggling yourself from Bucky's space to fish your car keys out of your pocket that you speak again. "I mean it though, Bucky. I wanna try and give us a shot, but if you're not in a place for that right now I get that."

You're trying to be subtle about how nervous you are about saying that, shoving your upper body into your car to lay the flowers he'd gotten you on your passenger seat and throw your bag on the floor. Judging by the smile breaking out on his face, you're not entirely sure it worked.

"Yeah?" He asks, eyes lit up as his shoulders lightly shake with mirth. "I think I'd like that too. Do you have.." His words teeter off questioningly, his own hands rummaging in his pant pockets until he finally pulls out a phone.

"Sorry, I know it... Uh, do I, should... D'ya wanna put your number in there?" He blabbers, shoving his flip phone your way as you stammer out a yes. Quickly inputting your details, you hand it back with a grin.

"You'll text me right, Barnes?" You tease as you sit in the drivers seat, smiling a small smile when Bucky lowers his head to keep at your level.

"Might take me a while to figure it out, but I'm pretty sure I can figure that out." Bucky jokes, "This is your last chance though, to back out. Promise I won't take it personally"

"Sorry, Sarge, my mind is made up." You shoot back with a giggle as Bucky ducks his head to hide an unlikely blush creeping up onto his cheeks.

The sound of the rain beating down heavier on your window shield pulls you out of the little world you'd both been caught up in. "I shouldn't keep you any longer, you need to get out of this rain." Your thumb gestures to the seat beside you, "Do you need a lift? I can—"

"I have my bike so" he cuts you off, "But thank you. I should let you get home but I'll call you."

Repeated goodbyes are exchanged before Bucky finally makes a move to leave, stopping to turn back and wave at your car as a warm smile cements its way onto your face.

You take a cursory glance at your covered wrist, finger tracing over where you know his words are etched onto your skin before finally making your way home. The smile he brought to your face doesn't let up for the rest of the night.

[lubdubsworld]

Someone to Love.

Hello!!!

Here is my gift for 8k subscribers!!!

Alpha Jungkook x Omega OC Werewolf Au!

Genre ! : Fluff . Mild Angst. Mild Smut.

Work Count : 6k

Summary : Widowed Omega Aerin isn't really looking for love. But Jeon Jungkook the handsome alpha who gets washed over a waterfall, is willing to offer it to her anyway.

Complete!!!

The thing about living in a clan as small as ours, was that word always travelled fast.

We were a close knit pack, everyone knew everyone and more importantly, everyone was always in everyone’s business. Which is why, it was no surprise that, even before the Head Alpha could send word for me, I already knew about the young alpha who had , apparently, washed over the waterfall. The drop was a good twenty five feet and the bottom of the pool littered with sharp rocks. He was obviously injured.

As the healer, I would have to be there to examine him.

Nevertheless, I waited till Jinyoung came knocking on my door, sometime after the midday meal, his face urgent and voice a little shaky. I had just finished wrapping my daughter against my breast, tying the end of the flannel across my back and over my shoulder . I pulled on the ends, securing the wrap around my torso, and making sure her limbs were free to move about.

Sera giggled, chubby fists wet with drool as she shoved them into her mouth. She was teething and that meant excessive drooling and a penchant for biting everything I sight. But like this, she was usually well settled, the warmth of my body and my scent lulling her to a drwsy state. She would be asleep by the time we reached the injured wolf.

My son was still out playing with the other alpha pups in the woods. He wouldn’t be back till sundown. And even if he did, Joowon was almost nine winters old now. He could fend for himself in the hut till I got back.

I quickly grabbed my shawl, wrapping it over my shoulder, before moving to the door and opening it.

“Aerin? Alpha Kim sent for you, there’s an injured wolf you need to tend to.” He said urgently and I didn’t miss the four or five young omegas hovering behind him, giggling and coy. I shook my head. Apparently, even a half dead, injured alpha wasn’t safe from these younglings. I gave them a chiding smile but they merely laughed some more.

“Of course, Jinyoung . Let me just grab my bag.” I quickly picked the small carry-all tote I used for visits. It had almost all the tinctures, ointments and salves that I stocked in the apothecary attached to my hut, in smaller quantities. I also kept a polished set of needles and tools in case I had to extract stubborn splinters of jagged rock ends out of flesh. For being one of the strongest breed, it was ridiculous how often alphas got hurt doing the silliest things.

Like going over a waterfall.

As we began the short trek over to the Head alpha’s cabin, the throng of smitten omegas surrounded me, looking bright eyed.

“They say he’s very handsome, unnie. And young!” One of them laughed.

I hummed.

“Then one must hope the rocks in the pool didn’t leave too much of a mark .” I said casually.

“I wouldn’t mind a scar or two, as long as he has his…you know..” Another set of giggles.

I shook my head, laughing. The girls were incorrigible but that was their right. They were all young, barely twenty and unmated. They knew nothing about the marriage bed , nothing about the intimacy that came with it. The love the commitment. My heart ached.

Two years and still my heart ached something fierce .

“Just tell him he has to rest for a month at least, unnie. Tell him he can’t leave for a month and I’ll work my charm.” The Head Alpha’s daughter Jisoo gave me a sharp little smile and I shook my head.

“I’ll do no such thing. And I don’t appreciate you lusting after a man who may well be dying.” I said sternly and Jisoo had the good grace to blush.

“Unnie, its just that…. I’m bored of all these dumb alphas panting after me. They’re so…uncouth. I just want to meet someone new.” She pouted.

We reached the small hillock that would lead to the Head alpha’s house and I gave her a smile.

“Well, in that case, I’ll patch him up real good for you. But till then, you and your girls, why don’t you go occupy yourselves elsewhere.”

Jisoo wrinkled her nose but listened and I smiled at Jinyoung, hugging sera closer to my chest and making haste to the hut in front of us. Jinyoung led me to a side door and further into a room at the end of the narrow corridor.

“Aerin! Child… You’re here!” The Head alpha held his arms out and I embraced him quickly. The injured alpha was laid out in the middle of the room on a thick pallet of straw and blankets. They had stripped him of his wet clothes and he looked like he was sleeping. I stared at his face and felt my breath catch.

He was breathtakingly beautiful. I couldn’t look away. Right up , I could make out three flesh wounds, jagged and slightly deep : one across his brow, another across his shoulder and one right over his chest. Dark ink curled all over his torso and he looked young but also like a warrior.

“We just found out he’s from the Jeon clan. The head alpha’s son.” Yugyeom, knelt by his shoulders, pointing out the inked shoulder which marked him as the heir to the Jeon pack.

“We’ve already sent word. They’ll be here to fetch him in a day or so. We need only tend to him till then. Well. Give him all hospitality and treat him like a king. We need to remain in the Jeon’s good graces.” The Head alpha said sternly and all of them bowed.

I quickly, grabbed my bag, laying it out on the floor and crawling over to his side.

“Hot water and spirit , please.” I told the maid standing by but the Head alpha quickly held a hand up.

“Aerin ah? I have a meeting here with the Min and Jung clan leaders. The autumn festival is set to begin tonight. Its impossible for me to keep him here and all the other alphas are going to be busy too. I want him to get the best care possible and I can think of no one better than you, fort this task. Can we shift him to your hut?”

I swallowed nervously. I didn’t really entertain patients in my house. Especially not alphas. My son got jittery and my daughter was too used to my own scent.

“As a personal favor to your alpha?” He said insistently, eyes flashing red and I realized it wasn’t a request. Rather a command.

“I… Yes, alpha.” I said hesitantly. “ Can I just examine him now, make sure nothing’s broken, before we shift him?”

“Yes of course my dear.” The alpha bowed before stepping aside. I quickly glanced at everyone else.

“Please leave.” I said quickly and they flushed, bowing before moving out of the room.

“Should I stay , Aerin?” Jinyoung asked nervously and I shook my head. “ Just wait outside and close the door for me, Jin.”

Once the door shut, I quickly glanced down at Sera who had curled into my chest and fallen asleep. I brought a bit of the fabric by chest over her head, so she wouldn’t get too much of the alpha’s scent. Kneeling down, I went about peeling the blanket off him.

He was a beautiful man, I thought absently, long limbs and thick muscles all over and it was no doubt his strong, well kept body that had saved him.

Other than a few more surface wounds on his legs and a gash on his thigh, he seemed relatively unharmed. I did run my fingers over his joints and arms, carefully looking for any swelling or discoloration that would signify broken bones. I carefully gripped his shoulders, turning him over gently to examine his back. I made a mental note of all the cuts that looked like they would have to be sewn together, so I could prepare enough string for it. I leaned over to press my ears against his chest, noting the rise and fall of his lungs.

A hand brushed over the back of my head, gentle and soft.

I jumped, wrapping both hands around sera and scooting back in panic, eyes wide as I stared at the man on the floor, now blinking tiredly at me.

“I… I..” I couldn’t get my words out and he groaned .

“Am I dead? Are you an angel?” He whispered.

I blinked, blood rushing to my face as I tried to calm my breathing.

“Jinyoung!!!” I yelled sharply and the door opened, Jinyoung stepping in and staring wide eyed at the alpha on the pallet. He was struggling to sit up and I quickly pulled myself together.

“Alpha Jeon! Please… You must stay still. ” I said quickly, pushing my palms against his chest, helping him lay back down, trying to ignore how his eyes danced all over my face, nostrils flared .” I’m Aerin, the healer from the Kim pack. You remember what happened today?”

He groaned again, lifting a shaky hand to press against his head. I moved closer, gently reaching out to grab his wrist, pulling his fingers away from the still wet wound on his brow, and his eyes clashed against mine, wide and steady. He stared pointedly at where my fingers curled around his wrists and I let go quickly.

“Yes….. one of the pups almost went over the waterfall. I… I tried to get him out.” He said softly. He glanced at Jinyoung. The latter looked away, clearly nervous.

“Pup?” I asked, heart dropping and he gave me a small smile. I tried not to let my gaze linger on his lips as he chuckled lightly.

“Can you help me up, kid?” He asked softly and Jinyoung startled, glancing at me.

I shook my head. I turned to Jungkook, heart racing. He sighed, resting back against the bed.

“Don’t worry, angel. I managed to toss her back to her father just before I went over the edge. I’m certain that she’s perfectly alright.”

“well, that’s a relief.” I hesitated, feeling awkward. Sera stirred and Jungkook’s gaze went to her again.

“she’s yours?” He asked gently and I blinked, glancing at Jinyoung nervously. It seemed too personal but I couldn’t imagine not answering without seeming rude.

“Yes, sire.” I bowed politely, moving back a bit more as Jungkook inhaled and reached out again, this time gripping my wrist. He scented the air and I flinched , yanking my hand away and quickly standing up, uncomfortable. He was still staring at me, gaze steady.

“You… You can tell the others that he’s conscious. We can move-” I stopped when the alpha cut me off.

“You don’t smell mated. You haven’t been with a man in years.” He said quietly and now Jiyoung looked uncomfortable too.

“Alpha Jeon, I-”

“Jungkook. Call me Jungkook.”

My heart jumped at the thought of addressing him so intimately. I shook my head.

“I’m looking for a mate. Can I court you, angel?” He said suddenly and my jaw dropped.

“There’s… There’s a dozen unmated omegas outside.” I choked out. Was I dreaming ? This couldn’t be happening.

“That’s not what I asked. Whom must I speak with? To court you? Your Head alpha.” He turned to Jinyoung. “ Please send word to Alpha Kim that I require an audience with him. And that its very important that he come here as soon as possible.”

“Please don’t.” I said quietly, feeling my body tremble and he froze.

“What’s wrong?” He said quietly.

I shook my head.

“I have a son. I’m not… I have a son. He’s almost nine winters old. He still… He loves his father. The man who raised him… I can’t…. it would break him. Please, Alpha Jeon. You have power here and I have none. Your word is law and I’m bound to honor it but please, please consider. My son…”

Jungkook’s gaze softened incredibly at that.

“I have a ten year old brother.” He said gently. “ What you’re saying is that it isn’t the head alpha’s approval that I need. It is your son’s.”

I blinked, thrown.

“I…”

“Then you must promise me this. If your son…” He paused, “ What’s his name?”

“I… Joowon.”

“If Joowon tells you that he wouldn’t mind having me in his life….will you consider letting me court you.”

I could only stare. Jinyoung cleared his throat looking completely enthralled by the drama unfolding in front of him. I saw a glint of mischief in his gaze and felt my hackles rise.

“Alpha, there’s a festival in our clan. It lasts three weeks and is filled with festivities and joyous celebrations. I do believe the Kim pack would be honored to have you stay with us, enjoying our hospitality and the bountiful gifts of nature we here in the lowlands enjoy.”

I gaped at him in disbelief.

“I… “

“That’s settled then. I will send for my pack members as well. They would love to share this time with you.” He turned to me.

I exhaled, certain that he had hit his head on the way down the falls.

“You’re insane.” I said softly, shaking my head. “ You’re free to enjoy all that my clan has to offer…. But, I’m not on the menu, Alpha Jeon.”

I quickly stood up.

“Tell Alpha Kim that he can fend for himself in one of the huts we have for heats and ruts. I’ll send one of my apprentices to sew up his wounds and apply salve on him.”

“I’m afraid not, Aerin. You know what the chief said. It has to be you.” Jin grinned and I glared at him.

Jungkook was smiling too.

“Come now, angel. Just because you don’t like me ….yet… don’t shun your duties.”

Good Lord.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Fucking hell, what the actual fuck…” Jungkook swore and I glared at him, grabbing a strip of white linen and balling it up before pressing it into his mouth, gagging him.

He stared at me, eyes wide in surprise and mouth open around the fabric.

“Stop swearing in front of my son.” I snapped. Joowon laughed, carefully threading the twine through the eye of the cleaned needle. He dipped the twine and the needle into the warm water and the spirit again.

“Come now mother, you know I can say worse things.” He stuck his tongue out and I glared at him.

“Not in this house, you can’t. Also keep it down… I’ve just put Sera to bed.” I carefully pinched the skin over his chest together before reaching out and slipping the needle into his skin. I worked carefully and diligently, focused on the task and when I was finally done, I glanced up, only for my gaze to clash with Jungkook’s.

“I.. were you staring the whole time?” I asked, blushing. Jungkook spat the gag out and grinned, boyish and naughty.

“Can’t help it. The view is truly breathtaking.”

I rolled my eyes.

“I wasn’t kidding when I said that there are omegas here who would love to be courted by you. You haven’t met any of them yet and that is why you seem to be … so… “ I shook my head.

“Joowon ah… Who’s the most beautiful woman in this clan?” Jungkook asked firmly and my son hummed from next to me.

“Mother, of course.”

I gaped at the pair of them.

“See? I trust Joowon’s judgement implicitly. “ Jungkook shrugged.

Joowon laughed again and I didn’t miss the looks he kept tossing at the alpha. Curious but also laced with a lot of admiration. I wasn’t surprised. Joowon had never been suspicious or hesitant in offering his friendship to people. And Jungkook had regaled him with tales about hunts and fishing trips and kayak rides in rapids….. and the younger was now clearly intrigued and almost halfway to smitten with the man.

My own heart raced , pulse pounding in a way it hadn’t in years. And yet, I knew it was futile. Men like Jungkook…. They didn’t really fall in love with women like me. All these flowery words, all this flirting….it was for one thing only. And once he got it, he would leave. Of course he would.

But that was the problem. For the first time in two years, I considered it. Considered letting him have it….have me. But with it , came a nagging wish that he wasn’t joking. That perhaps, I wasn’t as….undesirable as my late husband had made me feel.

I shook my head to clear the haze of dreams, impossible girlish dreams that came with his scent and his proximity. I didn’t want to go down that road. I wasn’t… I may be younger than Jungkook but I was still too old to be courted and to start a new life with someone. Least of all someone like Jungkook.

I glanced back up at him as I carefully applied salve on the stitches, fingers light on dusky smooth skin. He was still staring at me, and as I bent in closer, his hair brushed my forehead. My eyes fell on his nipple and my mouth went dry. I breathed out and looked up at him, shaking my head and pulling away.

“You’re all done alpha.” I whispered.

His hand crept up to my knee, squeezing gently.

“I’m just getting started.” He whispered and I bit my lips, looking away.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Father… you shouldn’t have come .” Jungkook was groaning and I could only stare in horror , trying to process the fact that both Alpha Jeon and his wife were now standing in my hut, fussing over their son and ruffling his hair like he was five years old.

“Nonsense !” Alpha Jeon thundered, making me jump. “ You went over the waterfall and you expect me to not be worried. I brought our healer but I see the Kim clan has an exceptionally talented young healer themselves. My son looks as good as new , dear girl.” He grinned at me and I smiled shakily.

“I’m going to court her, father.” Jungkook said without any preamble and my heart dropped to my knees. Lady Jeon’s gaze snapped to me and I retreated further, clutching Sera to my chest in panic.

“No.. I.. no he’s not. I’m sorry, Alpha, I… I should go…” I dived for Joowon’s wrist, yanking my son along and moving to the door.

“Wait, child.” Lady Jeon’s voice made me still and I bit my lips, squeezing my eyes shut in horror. Surely whatever was coming…it couldn’t be good… t would be the same thing I’d heard over the years, the same threats, the same insults…

“Let me look at you.” Lady Jeon said and I trembled a bit, turning to her nervously, prepared for rejection and annoyance.

I found none.

All I could see was genuine interest that morphed into pleasure as she took in my features.

“What a beautiful girl you are.” She whispered , “ You can do so much better than my savage son, who apparently doesn’t know his way up or down a waterfall.”

Jungkook growled from the bed.

“Mother.”

Lady Jeon gave him a look.

“I’m serious. The Kim clan , I’m sure must have several fine young men, all of them willing to court her. What makes you think they would hand her over to you, Jungkook.” He said regally and I hesitated.

“I… I’ve been mated before. These are my kids.” I said hesitantly.

Lady Jeon blinked.

“Does that make a difference?”

I couldn’t respond, mind in shambles.

“Unless …what we’ve heard about the Kim clan isn’t true? And they are archaic and small minded when it comes to their women?” She said sharply, turning around to glare at my Head Alpha who looked horrified as he bowed.

“of course not , my lady..we… We all treat Aerin with the utmost respect.. She is as our daughter.”

“That is not what I asked. Has she not been courted?” Alpha Jeon asked gruffly and Jungkook made a noise of impatience.

“I’m saying I’ll court her, why is everyone-“

“Quiet Jungkook. “ Lady Jeon said sharply before turning to me.

“Have you not been courted after your husband’s death. Its unheard of for a young wolf to remain without a mate. Did none of the men in your clan step up?”

I hesitated before deciding on the truth.

“Joowon-ah? Could you go play outside for a while?” I said softly and he hesitated before glancing at Jungkook and running off. Once I was sure he was out of earshot I turned to Lady Jeon.

“They only offered to take me on as a mistress.” I said honestly, staring at my feet. “ And … I have a son. Old enough to understand these things. He… He heard his friends talk about how I was … He asked me if what they said was true…. If I was just anyone’s to use or take, now that his father was dead. I…. I had to reassure him that it wasn’t the case…. That I wouldn’t… That I didn’t need to warm anyone’s bed to survive.”

“She’s coming with us tomorrow.” Jungkook growled from the bed and I glared at him.

“Please let me finish.” I snapped. “ And yes, there are men here who feel that way but Alpha Kim is right. They have for the most part, treated me with great respect and I … I enjoy my life here. I’m not lacking for anything..” Except someone to love, someone to hold through cold winter nights, someone to share bright spring sunshine with…someone to kiss in the rain… someone who would go to war for me…

“So? You don’t accept my son’s offer of courting? Is that what you’re saying?” Lady Jeon asked gently.

“Don’t answer that.” Jungkook’s voice came from my right and I stared at him.

“Alpha Jeon…”

“Could all of you give me a moment alone with her?” Jungkook said quietly and Alpha Kim bowed.

“Please let me show you to your resting quarters.” He said gently and Jungkook’s parents shot him one last look before leaving the cabin. I stayed still as everyone filed out, one after the other.

Once it was just him and I, Jungkook cleared his throat.

“Just three weeks.” He said softly, “ Give me three weeks. Three weeks and if at the end of it you tell me that you don’t want to leave your clan…I’ll accept it without argument. You’ll never see me again.”

I sighed in exhaustion.

“You’re going to be here for the three weeks of the festival anyway. My answer isn’t going to change. I’m not going to fall in love with you, alpha Jeon. ” I said quietly.

He grinned.

“I’m going to remind you of what you just said….six months from now…when you’re my wife.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jungkook was out and about three days later and to my utter horror, jealousy reared its head when I saw the extent to which he was popular with the other omegas. I stayed in the sidelines, holding sera and keeping an eye on Joowon, watching Jungkook get accosted at every turn.

But Jungkook it seemed, had no interest in wooing me.

He was wooing my son.

“These are delicious, Jungkook.” Joowon said excitedly, hands full of candied fruits and honey dipped grapes.

“Stop calling him that…” I hissed , but Joowon merely stuck his tongue out at me, stuck firmly to Jungkook’s side. Jungkook sat on the hard ground of the hut, surrounded by wooden strip and workmen tools, building a miniature windmill for Joowon who had never seen one before. The wind didn’t hit the lowlands much but Jungkook’s clan lived up hill and the windmills helped bring water to the canals.

He gave me a grin, his eyes trained on my lips as I sung gently to Sera, rocking her back and forth on my arms.

“You must give some of that honeyed fruit to your mother too, won-ah… perhaps she will have something sweet to say to me.” He grinned.

I rolled my eyes.

“I believe you’ve heard enough honey dipped words from the many omegas who can’t get enough of you.” I said impishly.

Jungkook laughed.

“ All I need is one word from you my lady….” He whispered and I flushed.

“ One word? No matter the question…? What word is that. ” I shook my head.

“Yes.” Jungkook smiled. “ Because it is that way with me. No matter the question , if you were the one asking, my answer would be yes.”

I stared at him, thrown by the magnitude of sincerity in his tone.

“Mother, ask him if he hates you…” Joowon giggled snapping me out of my thoughts.

I laughed and Jungkook glared.

“You’re supposed to be helping me brat.” He said with faux anger, eyes still excessively fond as he pulled my son into a playful headlock.

I watched them wrestle around Joowon smiling in a way that I had never seen him do in a long long time and my heart ached. Was it wrong… I wondered, to be this greedy? To want a lifetime of this….

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“ They say you never mourned him.” Jungkook sat on the rocking chair, shirt unbuttoned and Sera lying on his chest, the warmth of his body and the staccato of his heart lulling her to sleep . I sat on the floor, leaning back against the wall, Joowon was already asleep nect to me, head resting on my lap.

I watched him, watched the large, rugged hand, so gentle on my daughter’s back, stroking her gently, as he hummed sweetly.

“there was nothing to mourn.” I whispered bitterly, threading my fingers through my son’s hair, the silky strands falling through like water.

“He wasn’t a good man then.”

I shook my head.

“He married me when I was sixteen. And when I was old enough to see him for what he was, he didn’t want me anymore. And he died because he tried to rape the Head Alpha’s daughter.” I felt that familiar sickening feeling of disgust.

Jungkook didn’t say anything merely staring off into the fire blazing in the hearth.

“Is that why you think…you’re too old?” He asked gently and I flushed.

“It didn’t help with my self esteem.” I admitted.

“And is that why you..hesitate? To tell me how you truly feel.”

“It’s complicated. I … It s not easy baring my heart to you…” I looked away.

“You’re beautiful. I want you. Everyday I feel like I’m falling deeper.” Jungkook said quietly.

I stared at him, stunned.

He turned around and smiled at me.

“It’s not complicated for me. Its hard to watch you keep me at arm’s length. It’s hard to go to sleep on the floor, knowing your warm body is at touching distance. Its hard watching these omegas mistreat you because they’re jealous of the attention you get from me. And its hard….telling myself I can’t just pull you into my arms and kiss you in front of them all so they know . ” He smiled, “But telling you how I feel? It’s not hard at all.”

I felt my mouth go dry and stared at my knees.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Marry me.” Jaebum had cornered me by the apothecary and I stared at him in shock.

“What?” I snapped, “ What nonsense is this? Move out of my way.”

“Alpha Kim wants Jisoo to marry Jungkook. He has asked one of us to get you out of the picture. And no one else wants another man’s sloppy seconds. I’m the only one who agreed so you should be honored. Just say yes and come with me.”

He made to grab me and I stumbled back in terror only to crahs into a broiad back, right behind me. A familiar scent and strong arms coming around to hug me.

“Perhaps, Alpha Kim should reconsider his plans. Because I’m sure he doesn’t want the entire Jeon clan to come to war with him.”

Jaebum stepped back.

“you would start a war over some omega?” He scoffed.

Jungkook grinned shaking his head.

“No. But I would start a war over my woman.”

Jaebum scoffed again before spitting at his feet and walking away. Jungkook glared at him till he disappeared from view. My limbs started trembling the moment I realized what had just happened. After years of working for these people…healing them and mending their wounds….Was this how they saw me?

I went limp in his arms and he hugged me close.

“Angel….are you alright?” Jungkook whispered and I swallowed, turning around and staring at him.

“I… They… Why would he do that?” I whispered and Jungkook reached out cupping my face gently.

“I don’t know. But he’s an idiot. As if I would let another man lay a finger on you…” He said softly and I laughed, shaking my head.

I looked back up at him, letting my gaze fall to his lips. As if on cue the heavens opened and it began to rain… Jungkook swore, moving to find shelter but I grabbed his arm, pulling him closer.

“Alpha Jeon…” I said quietly, water dripping down my face as the rain intensified . “ Will you kiss me?”

Jungkook’s eyes went comically wide. He was already dripping wet, hair falling in soaked strands into his eyes.

“Wh-What?”

“I’ve waited for many years for this kiss. A kiss in the rain. With a man who would go to war for me.”

Jungkook laughed at that and I stared as he leaned down, gently pressing his lips to my forehead. Tears sprung at the tender gesture and I gripped the fabric of his tunic hard. Laughing I buried my face into his chest, as he pressed a multitude of kisses on top of my head.

“Angel. When I kiss you for the first time…it’s not going to stop with a kiss.” He winked.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Leaving my clan was easier, when I reminded myself of what they had done. But I did my duty, offering my greetings and farewell to all the elders, before moving to link my fingers with Jungkook , who held Sera in his arms.

“ I owe you my gratitude. Because you’ve kept her safe all these years. But from now she holds no ties to your clan.” Jungkook said firmly, and I stepped closer to him.

I watched as Jungkook’s father shared a ceremonial glass of wine with the head alpha.

And just like that, I was no longer a Kim.

I was a Jeon.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Mother…” I whispered , mortified , watching Lady Jeon, wrap my daughter in her baby clothes, Packing her clothes and Joowon’s clothes as well. “ Please it isn’t necessary.”

“Nonsense. Jungkook and you need to spend time together. Alone. And I need to spend time with my grandchildren. I’ve already missed out on nine years of Joowon’s life , I refuse to miss out on another second. Besides, he has never seen a windmill he says? My husband has made arrangements for us to pitch our tents right next to one.”

I could only smile and watch as my excitable son practically bounced off the wall, eager to go on a trip with halmeoni and harabeoji.

Jungkook stood next to me, wrapping both arms around me.

“Say the word and We’ll leave in a hour right behind them.” He said gently and I smiled, shaking my head.

“No… your parents want this. I can tell. Let them enjoy some time with their grandkids.”

“Excellent.” Jungkook gripped my shoulders and turned me around.

“I’m in the mood for some honeyed words.” I said quietly.

“Jeon Aerin. My angel. Mine and Mine forever.” He said softly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Six months later :

Jungkook pressed kisses down my back and I grinned into the sheets, watching the springtime sun spill into our room, soaking the sheets in warmth . I stretched as he gently turned me over, feather light kisses on my belly, now slightly curved . He pressed his ears to the taut skin, listening.

“What is that, pup? Oh…yes.. yes yes… You’re right . Absolutely right.” He pulled away and climbed top of me, gently parting my thighs before slotiing himself in between. I sighed as he pressed against me, gently pushing in till he was buried to the hilt inside me.

“God, that feels good…” I whispered and Jungkook hummed, pressing a kiss to my ear before biting the lobe between his teeth.

“Know what our pup just told me , wife? “ He whispered and I looked at him, curious.

“What?”

“Well, he told me that I should remind you that you were so sure you would never fall in love with me.”

I shrugged.

“I’m sure you were once, pretty sure that you would never get washed over the waterfall.”

Jungkook laughed.

“Touché. So we both admit we’re wrong ?”

“The perfect marriage.”

Jungkook kissed me nose before beginning to move gently inside me again and I closed my eyes in bliss.

Someone to hold during cold winter nights.

Someone to kiss in the rain.

Someone to love in the springtime sun…

Someone like Jeon Jungkook, the perfect alpha.

AUTHOR'S NOTE : I LOVE ALL OF YOU. THANK YOU FOR 8K.

[wolfofthesoldier]

Uncertainty

gif source

𝒂/𝒏: English is not my first language (not well written)

𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔: angst, reader feels uncomfortable with his body, mention of anxiety disorder, mention of sex, mention of Reproductive organs, intersex reader (girl penis)

𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈: Natasha Romanoff x reader

𝒔𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒚: You try to keep your secret from your girlfriend Natasha.

You lived together with the Avengers in the tower for several years. Nevertheless, you were still "the new" in the team, but everyone treated you as part of the family. Especially your girlfriend Natasha. You two have been together for half a year, but she loved you and you loved her more than anything. However, not much happened between a few kisses and a hug, and Natasha gradually noticed that too.

She got to know you as a reserved and shy young woman. Even before you both got together, you didn't like to be touched, you preferred to train alone and your clothes were always wide, including your mission suit.

Natasha knew you had some anxiety disorders, but she would have thought that you would be more open to her. Natasha always wanted to cuddle with you, but you never wanted that and Natasha accepted that. When Natasha hugged you, you were often tense and when she kissed you, you just wanted her hands on your cheeks.

Sex was a taboo for you. The redhead finally wanted to sleep with you, but you always turned her away. At first Natasha understood that it might be too early for you. As soon as the topic was mentioned, you turned away in shame and refused to talk about it any further.

You were hiding something from Natasha and she would find out.

Tonight Tony Stark threw a party. (There was actually at least one party every month). You and Natasha got dressed for the party. Natasha wore a beautiful red dress, which resembled her hair. While you put on sweatpants and a flannel shirt. The same as last time.

Today Natasha finally wanted to talk to you. Maybe it was the wrong time, but she couldn't hold back any longer.

"Don't you want to wear something else, honey?" she asked you directly.

When tying your shirt you stopped and looked uncertainly at your girlfriend.

"What do you mean?" you asked without looking at Natasha.

"Maybe something fancier."

You looked down at Natasha a little uncertainly, who was sitting on the bed, waiting. You didn't understand what she meant by that.

"What's wrong with it?" you looked down at yourself.

Natasha realized that she had made the wrong choice of words.

"I just mean that maybe you could wear something other than sweatpants. What is suitable for a party." Natasha tried to convince you.

"Well I like what I wear." You said, took your cell phone and wanted to go to the door.

"Y/N, wait I didn't mean-"

"It's okay, Nat. See you at the party." with these words you left the room and left your girlfriend alone.

Natasha sighed heavily and could slap herself. That wasn't a good start. She knew how sensitive you were. Natasha bit her lip thoughtfully before following you to the party.

All Avengers and other guests were already in a party mood. Steve and Thor drank the strongest alcohol together because they knew they couldn't get drunk. Bruce was sitting on the couch with Tony, talking, Tony, as always, with a drink in hand. Bruce didn't drink anything though, he wanted to stay sober. Clint laughed with other guests and told jokes because everyone was laughing.

Natasha looked for you in the crowd and you weren't hard to find. You stood outside of all the guests with a drink in hand and watched what was going on around you.

You have stood by and watched everything around you. Whenever Natasha wanted to dance with you, you refused. Natasha finally wanted to get you out of this grinder.

Natasha went to the bar to get a drink too. Then she made her way to you, albeit uncertainly.

"Y/N, I'm really sorry for what I said." Natasha tried to start the conversation.

"I know, Nat. Don't worry it's okay." you said and took a sip.

After that it was quiet again between you two until Natasha tried to get closer to you.

"Can i make it up to somehow?" Natasha asked playfully and wanted to get to you, but you didn't let her.

"I'm okay. "

"Come on, детка." (detka)

"No, Nat. I really don't-"

"You don't have to be afraid."

"I'm not, it's just-"

"You can talk to me."

"I said NO!"

The music stopped and all guests and friends turned to both of you. All eyes were on you when you yelled at Natasha and Natasha felt directly guilty. You threw your drink away and ran out of the big room. Everyone was looking after you with questioning, shocked and worried faces. Natasha couldn't even move until she heard Clint's voice.

"Natasha? Is everything okay? What happened?"

"Yes, I'm good. I follow her."

That was all she said before she quickly set off to find you. And she knew exactly where to find you.

Whenever something bothered you, no matter in what way, you went to the roof. This was your quiet place where you could think. Natasha had often visited you there to stand by your side.

So you weren't surprised when the roof door opened less than five minutes later. The steps came closer and your redhead girlfriend sat down next to you. Natasha said nothing. She just looked out on the streets of New York with you.

You were grateful that she said nothing. The silence was exactly what you needed now. Natasha knew when it was right to say something or not to say something. You knew that Natasha only wanted to help you and that you trusted her. She wanted you to open up. All Natasha wants was for her friend to show her love. But you never gave her the love she deserved. No cuddling, just little kisses, no sex, no really intimate experiences. You weren't fair to her. Natasha had to feel really bad. You should tell her. Then she would break up with you and that pressure would finally be over.

"I'm intersex."

You said that sentence faster than your mind could think. You said it so suddenly that Natasha didn't really understand.

"What?"

"I'm Intersex, Nat. I-...I'm a woman but..I-...I don't have a v-vagina. I have a...well..you know."

You were so nervous and fear was spreading into your body. But you were also relieved. At the moment all feelings seemed to flood you.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she asked carefully

"I was scared. That you don't love me anymore."

"Because you have a dick instead of a vagina." Natasha finished your sentence.

You nodded and swallowed hard.

"Y/N, I love you. I love you more than anything else in the world. I don't care if you have a dick or a vagina. If you don't want to cuddle with me or don't want to have sex with me, I understand that. But I want you to be okay and not torment you."

You felt your heart getting warm. God you loved her so much.

"I want to cuddle with you and have sex with you too. I just don't know...I'm scared that..." you stuttered and you started crying.

Natasha took you in her arms and held you tight. While you were crying, Natasha hugged you, talked to you and calmed you down.

After a while you calmed down and you and Natasha talked for a few more hours on the roof before you two went to bed at 2 am.

And for the first time you fell asleep snuggled up against Natasha. You have never felt so liberated.

[haidyn-reeves]

I’ve Got You

Square: Cuddling Pairing: Dean x Reader Word Count: 2352 Warnings: If cuddling Dean Winchester is a warning, then you’ve been warned. Lil’ bit of angst but lotta bit of fluff! Summary: When Dean loses control during a hunt, Y/N makes sure he knows he’s not alone. A/N: For @spnmixedbingo​ and @spnfluffbingo​!

Over the years, Y/N witnessed the many sides of Dean Winchester, but she wasn’t prepared to see him so torn up and uneasy now that he bore the Mark of Cain. He thought she didn’t notice the flinches, winces, and the grabs at his arm. It was no secret that the Mark was affecting him somehow. She heard him tossing and turning in the room next to hers at night, she saw the longing stares at the bottles of liquor. The Mark made him terrifying when he needed to be, but he was the most vulnerable when he was alone with his thoughts. Dean wanted to create space between them, he knew he could snap at any minute and the thought of hurting Y/N because of the Mark he asked for made him sick.

It was a particularly rough day. Dean lost control again during the hunt, leaving Sam and Y/N bewildered as they stared at the man, First Blade in his shaking hands. Y/N wanted nothing more than to run to his side, to wrap him in her arms and remind him that he was still the greatest man she knew, but the sight of the blade made her stomach turn. Dean had created so much distance between himself and his girl that she wasn’t even sure he’d welcome her embrace.

“Dean, drop the blade,” Sam urged, trying to remain calm so as not to alarm his brother.

“Dean, you’re okay. It’s over,” Y/N soothed, her voice shaking. Sam put his arm out to keep her behind him.

Dean began to come to, snapping out of whatever daze he was in. He blinked his eyes a few times, looking around the room at the slaughtered vampires and their victims. He looked down at his hands, seeing all the blood covering his skin and his clothes. He dropped the Blade as if it were on fire, burning his skin to the touch.

“Kick it over to me, Dean.”

Dean looked up at his brother, slowly getting to his feet and nudging the Blade in Sam’s direction with his foot, refusing to look at Y/N before leaving the warehouse and making his way to Baby. Sam shrugged off his flannel and bent down to pick up the Blade, wrapping it in his shirt.

“Sam, what do we do? He hasn’t had the Mark that long and it already has a hold on him.”

“For now, we keep this blade far away from him. Without the temptation of the blade maybe it’ll calm down enough for us to figure out a better plan.”

“How are we going to keep it from him? You know Dean, if he wants something, he gets it.”

“Leave it to me, for now let’s get him home and I’ll take care of it.”

Y/N nodded, following Sam out of the warehouse. They found Dean attempting to clean himself up, though he was still covered in now-dried blood and his skin was stained red. 

“Hey Dean, how about I drive and you try to get some rest. Y/N can sit up front with me and you can take the back seat to stretch out. We’ll be home soon and then you can clean up properly.”

As if still in a daze, Dean gave a brief nod before climbing into the back seat, passing the keys to Sam before making himself comfortable. Y/N sighed quietly, getting into the passenger’s seat beside Sam as he started the engine, driving them back to the Bunker.

The ride was quiet, Dean having passed out sooner than expected. Y/N was fighting sleep, too anxious about Dean to allow herself to rest. Her heart ached for the older hunter. Simply put, she missed him. She never expected him to ask for a break or space from their relationship. All she wanted to do was help him through this mess but all he wanted to do was keep her safe. He didn’t care that she trusted him with her life; he didn’t trust himself with it while bearing the Mark. 

When Baby pulled into the garage, Sam gently shook Dean awake, throwing his hands up in defense when his brother shot up alarmed. 

“Dean it’s just us, we’re home. Let’s get you inside, yeah?” Dean climbed out of the back seat and stormed into the Bunker, leaving Sam and Y/N to carry in the bags. 

“I guess he remembered what happened and now we have grumpy Dean.” Sam looked down at Y/N, giving her a sad smile.

“Listen, I know you two are on a little break, but I can’t comfort him the way you can, and I know my brother, and I know right now he’s hurting, he’s confused, and he’s upset with himself. He may not want to admit it but he does need you, way more than he’s ever let on.”

“I don’t want to disrespect his wishes, Sam.”

“I know, but I’m telling you, he needs you. Go on, I’ll grab the bags.” He gave her a gentle nudge in the Bunker door’s direction, chuckling as she made her way into the underground fortress.

Y/N followed the twists and turns of the hallway until she got to her bedroom, finding Dean’s door closed next to hers. She knocked on his door, turning the knob when she didn’t hear a response. The man was sitting on the edge of his bed, staring at the floor with his hands on his thighs.

“Dean…? Can I run you a bath? Help you clean up?”

“No,” he answered gruffly, still refusing to meet her eyes. 

“Dean, you asked for space. I’m giving you space, but I never agreed to not take care of you, especially when you need it. You take care of everyone else, let yourself be taken care of for once.” Dean didn’t budge and Y/N pursed her lips, going to his dresser and pulling out a henley and sweatpants. “You seem to have forgotten that I don’t take no for an answer, so let’s go.”

Dean rolled his eyes and got up, following Y/N to the bathroom down the hall. She handed him the clothes she picked out, stopping outside the bathroom door. “My aromatherapy body wash is under the sink if you’d like to use it. Always calms me down after a rough day. If you need anything, holler.” She watched him enter the bathroom before going back to her room to change into her pajamas and unpack her duffel. She finished getting ready for bed at the sink in the corner of her room, waiting to hear Dean come down the hall and enter his room. She had no idea how she was going to approach the situation, she just knew she needed to do something to make sure Dean knew he wasn’t alone in dealing with the Mark.

She was packing her duffel away when she heard Dean’s footsteps coming closer to her room before he entered his own. She gave him a few minutes to get settled, taking the time to handle her nerves. What the hell was she nervous about? This was Dean, her man, there was no reason to be this nervous. She took a deep breath before knocking on his bedroom door, hearing an agitated grunt as a response. She rolled her eyes and pushed the door open, finding Dean in the same position as earlier, sitting on the edge of his bed and staring at the floor. His damp hair was standing up in every direction, indicating he had run his fingers through it a ridiculous amount of times while he stewed in his irritation.

“Dean,” she sighed, closing the door behind her.

“Y/N,” he grunted, turning his head away from her. She shook her head, crossing the distance between the doorway and his bed. “Y/N, no-“

She ignored his protests, straddling his thighs and sitting down on his lap. When he refused to meet her gaze, she cupped his cheeks and gently turned his head, making his pretty olive eyes lock with hers. “Hi.”

“Hi,” he huffed, though it was easy to see that his guard was slowly crumbling down. Y/N smiled, wrapping her arms around him in a tight hug. She kissed his temple, resting her cheek against his as she held him, his body tense against hers.

“Dean, you can hug me back.”

“Don't wanna hurt you,” he mumbled, mostly talking into her shoulder.

“You won’t hurt me, and even if you do, you taught me how to defend myself. I could take you.”

“Not a chance.”

“Dean Winchester, if you don’t hug me back, I will tickle you. And don’t you dare say you aren’t ticklish, I’ve heard you squeal like a little girl if someone so much as pokes your side wrong.”

“Y/N you’re such a pain,” Dean huffed again, limply wrapping his arms around her waist.

“You can do better than that.” Dean rolled his eyes, tightening his hold on her. “I’m supposed to be your pain, Dean.”

“Yeah,” he sighed, his body starting to relax. He buried his face in her shoulder, Y/N rocking them from side to side carefully. 

“You don’t have to do this alone, Dee. Sam and I, we want to help you. Any way we can. And don’t you even try to say you can handle it on your own. I know you can, you’re the strongest man I know, but this? This isn’t something anyone should have to do alone, nor is it something you deserve.”

“Yes I do,” he whispered. “I’ve done terrible things-“

“Darling, the amount of good you’ve done surely outweighs anything bad you’ve ever done. You’ve saved so many lives, Dee. You stopped the apocalypse. You saved the literal world. You don’t deserve anything less than everything good this world has to offer. You’re not a bad person, Dean. I’m not just saying that. I genuinely believe your heart is good. None of us would be here without you.”

“I’m scared.” The words tasted foreign on his tongue. Dean was never one to discuss his feelings, not liking to be vulnerable. Y/N and Sam were the exceptions, he felt comfortable sharing some of his feelings with them, but he’d never told anyone he was scared before.

“It’s okay to be scared, Dean. It’s a scary Mark and a scary burden to bear. But you don’t have to face it alone.”

Dean squeezed his eyes shut, his grip continuing to tighten as he held onto Y/N, almost for dear life. He hated that he pushed her away to cope on his own and now he desperately wanted her back. He nudged his face further into the crook of her neck, his fingers squeezing the material of her pajama top.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured, “I need you.”

“I’ve got you,” she pulled back slightly, kissing his forehead. “How about we lay down yeah? You need to get some sleep, babe.”

Dean nodded, letting go of Y/N so they could crawl into his bed. She scooted behind him, spooning him, Dean sinking back against her front. She reached for his right hand, interlocking their fingers and squeezing softly. She looked down at the Mark on his arm and cringed. “Does it hurt?”

“Feels like when you have pins and needles and sunburn all at the same time,” he winced. He pulled their interlocked fingers up to his chest, holding her hand over his heart tightly. Y/N smiled, dipping her head down to press a soft kiss to the back of his neck. He shuddered in her hold, smiling to himself as he tucked himself under her chin.

“I told you you’re ticklish,” she teased. 

“Felt nice though, made me relax.” Y/N smiled, nuzzling her nose at the back of his neck. “I love you, you know.”

“I know Dean, I love you, too. Every inch of your stubborn ass.”

“I was trying to be cute.”

“You don’t have to try, you just are,” she giggled. “But seriously, please don’t push me away, babe. I’m here for you, I’ve got you, always. I want to help in any way I can.”

Dean melted in her embrace, relaxing against her. “I just don’t want to hurt you, sweetheart. The Mark, it takes over sometimes and I don’t want you to be the one that gets hurt because of it.”

“Dean…I know you’re trying to protect me, and I appreciate that and love that about you…but maybe you need to let me and Sam try to protect you for a bit. Just until you get a handle on the Mark and learn to understand it better.”

Dean brought their interlocked hands from his chest to his lips, kissing the back of her hand before turning over in her arms to face her. “If it gets to be too much for you, I need you to promise me you’ll walk away.”

“Dean-“

“Y/N, I’m serious. If I agree to this, I need to know that when it gets too dangerous, you’ll be safe. Promise me.”

Y/N stared into Dean’s eyes, those pretty green orbs always able to say what he wouldn’t allow himself to voice out loud. The worry was evident, but the love was enough to make her heart stop in her chest. She knew she could never actually walk away from him when he needed her most, but if it made him feel better to hear her say it, she could give him that much.

“Y/N-“

“I promise, Dean.” She brushed her lips against his in a soft kiss, sealing the deal.

“Thank you,” he sighed with relief, pulling her impossibly closer. He showered her cheeks in kisses, making her squeal and squirm as his days-old scruff tickled her skin. “Missed this.”

“Missed you.”

“Well played,” he hummed, combing his fingers through her hair as she snuggled into his chest. “Remind me never to do that again.”

“Oh trust me, Winchester. I will.”

Tagging: @lyarr24​ @gia-25​ @waywardrose13​

[dandy-writes]

Eyewishes - Ch. 2

AN: Did I just sit down and write all of this in like two hours on a whim after over a month of inactivity? Yes. Is it good? God, I hope so. Anyways. Obligatory spoiler warning! This fic takes place in season 2, but contains spoilers for certain things up through the end of season 4. Also, in this chapter I describe scars and thus, the implied wounds that caused them. So warning for that. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoy!

Chapter One

Someone had blinded them in their left eye.

Well, perhaps something might have been a better term given the situation, but Y/N truly didn’t know. It was incredibly disconcerting. They had no idea who or what had blinded them, nor any knowledge of anything about themselves from before they reached the doorstep of the Magnus Institute. It was obvious they were suffering from amnesia, and without much effort they Knew that if they were to go to a hospital their affliction would be diagnosed as retrograde amnesia specifically, as opposed to anterograde amnesia, the difference being… well, they could go on and on with textbook definitions and possible causes. But no matter how hard they tried, they could not See into their own past.

The handiwork was at the very least neat, so perhaps there was a clue there. On several occasions Y/N had found themself losing track of time and spending hours staring at themselves in the water-stained mirror of the Archives’ seldom-used bathroom, analyzing every detail of their wounded eye. Two lines of scar tissue ran over their brow and eyelid down to their cheek, perpendicular to each other in a way that formed an “X” over their eye. Was it intentional? By the way their gut churned when they asked themself that, Y/N suspected it might have been.

And though the damage done to their eye was horrific enough, Y/N wasn’t convinced that it alone was what was causing their stagnation. They could probably write it all off to that, but something that pulled at the back of their mind told them that there was more. That something else had happened to them, but they just couldn’t remember. Couldn’t See. There was, of course, the situation of their stomach, but… Well. That was a bit more difficult to address. Besides, they’d only learned of that when they’d first had the opportunity to change clothes over a day after they’d arrived at the Institute. Martin had been kind enough to locate and bring to them some clothing in roughly their size, but they’d decided quickly to keep the flannel. It was cold down in the Archives, and maybe it was just their imagination, but it seemed like when they wore it the barbed wire surrounding their memories retreated just a little bit.

The others weren’t as friendly. Tim and Jon were suspicious -- rightly so, if a bit misguided -- and only allowed them to stay in the Archives after quite a bit of persuasion from Martin. And luckily for Y/N, the thing seemed just as content to avoid them as they were it. Then, there was Elias.

Elias didn’t visit the Archives too often, but that didn’t matter, because he was always Watching, even if the others didn’t realize. He couldn’t See through Y/N’s eyes, though, something that had become apparent quite early on in their stay at the Institute. All the more reason to isolate themself from the others. They might have both been on the same “side”, but his demeanor towards them made it quite clear that this meant nothing to him.

That being said, it wasn’t that much of a surprise when Y/N felt the staticky presence moving down the hallway towards the bathroom door. They had been staring again (for approximately 42 minutes and 37 seconds), and again, no answers were coming. They gripped the edges of the sink and did their best not to look away from their reflection as the door opened.

Elias was immaculately dressed, as usual, in a dark green three-piece suit that was utterly out of place in the drab surroundings. His gray-streaked hair was pristine, and he had a pair of thin-rimmed glasses perched on his nose, through which he was watching Y/N intently.

“Ah, Y/N. I wasn’t expecting to see you here.” It was a blatant lie, and they both knew it, one of many that the two had passed between themselves since Y/N’s arrival. “Hiding from the archival staff? I suppose I can understand that. They can certainly be a little…” He turned on his heel so that he was fully facing the mirror, a slight smirk pulling at the corners of his mouth. “Unsettling at times.”

<What do you want.>

He chuckled (it wasn’t a genuine laugh, of course. Y/N doubted if they’d had any sort of genuine interaction since he’d threatened them) and began to approach them. His steps were slow, drawn out, giving them apt time to meet his gaze in the mirror, but they didn’t. He’d only enjoy it if they were to watch him as he was watching them. Like a curious predator.

He stopped mere inches from them, and Y/N was almost relieved until he leant forwards. The moment his chest hit their back they stiffened fully, only just able to stop their neutral expression from faltering as Elias dipped his head down to the right of theirs, not quite touching, but still far too close for comfort. Carefully, he brought his hands to rest on the edge of the sink next to their own. He had not stopped trying to make eye contact with them.

“I just want to talk, Y/N. I’m sure you must have questions you’d like to ask me.”

<None you’d actually answer.>

His gaze narrowed slightly. “No, probably not. But why don’t you try me?”

They had to close their eyes to stop themselves from looking up at him at that. Did he want them to try and Compel him? Even if they were at their strongest, they didn’t think he’d let them do so successfully. No, he was probably just gloating. They reopened their eyes, but did not look away from their own reflection. <Why don’t they know?>

“You’re going to have to be a little bit more specific than that, I’m afraid.”

Their brow furrowed. <The Archivist, and the others. Why don’t they know they’re under the Eye? Or that there’s a Stranger posing as their friend? Why haven’t you told them, when-->

Elias cut them off with a tsk, tilting his head as he did so. “Really, Y/N, don’t you have more important things to worry about?” They watched their eyes widen as he placed his left hand on their cheek, fingers just grazing their scars. His touch was cold. “Poor thing… I can’t imagine what--”

<Stop it.> They felt frozen in place as they watched his fingertips trace over their skin.

“Ah, right. All you can do is try and imagine what happened to you. Or am I mistaken? Please, tell me exactly just what it is you can remember, Y/N. Or is it really nothing at all? So much lost knowledge, it must be taking a toll on--”

<Stop it.> In a burst of movement Y/N spun around to face him, their gaze finally meeting his. They nearly gasped at the force of it, and a wave of shivers wracked their body as the raw feeling of being Watched invaded their senses. Their reaction was obvious, and Elias’ small smile immediately broke out into a pleased, toothy grin.

The trouble was, it felt very, very nice to be Seen by another avatar of the Eye. Of course, there was no way Elias could Know that Y/N felt that way, but if he’d had much experience with other avatars of their god, which was likely, then it wouldn’t take too far of a leap to come to that conclusion.

It didn’t help that with his hands firmly planted on the sink edge, Y/N was practically caged-in between it and his body.

“Oh, Y/N, it really is a shame…” He’d lowered his voice to a purr as he brought his hand up to cup their cheek once more. “Because judging off of what’s left, you truly must have had beautiful eyes.”

That was it. With as much force as they could muster they pressed their palms against the lapels of his suit and shoved him away from them. He must’ve decided he’d had enough fun for one day, as he let Y/N push him off with far more ease than they’d expected, and did not move to stop them as they stormed out of the bathroom and slammed the door behind them. Every nerve in their body felt hypersensitive as they focused on getting as far away from Elias Bouchard as they could while staying within the boundaries of the Archives. They didn’t think he was going to follow them, but they couldn’t be sure after the way he’d been Looking at them just moments before. Y/N wasn’t used to him being so direct -- the statements he’d made in regards to their lack of memory had surprised them, but it just meant he was better at piecing things together without the aid of Seeing into one’s mind than they’d hoped -- nor to being confronted with so much power from another avatar. Though, worryingly, they didn’t think that he had exactly been using full force in there.

He was just toying with them, that was all. They had expected him to start doing so at some point, so that in and of itself wasn’t a surprise.

They just didn’t account for how good it would make them feel.

Taglist: @decora-peaches

[n0wornever]

First Touch - Luke Patterson x Reader

Luke x reader - it’s the scene where Julie talks to Luke before the Orpheum show but instead it’s the reader planning to tell Luke how she feels before he “passes over”

(gif is not mine)

She knew she’d regret the decision as soon as she made it. 

But as she paced back in forth in my room, hands tingling, she knew that there was no way that I could see his face again that night. After Luke had lied to her face for weeks about their fate, Julie was the one who had to come into her room last night and tell her exactly what would happen. The words clung onto her chest, making it hard to breathe as they nibbled at the surface. What really hurt was the fact that the boys didn't have the guts to tell her themselves.

“So you’re telling me that they have to leave no matter what?” 

Julie nodded, placing her hand on the girl’s thigh. She could feel that there were tears already brimming in her eyes, but when she looked over to Julie’s glossy reflection, she completely lost control. 

“Why didn’t they tell me? Why did you all keep this a secret?” 

She could feel her voice raise in intensity as her mouth spat the question, causing Julie’s shoulders to tense. She grabbed her hand, squeezing it gently to soothe the aggression she just caused. This was not her fault Y/N, remember that. Julie’s shoulders fell back down as she began to to speak again.

“Luke told them not to. He said you’d be better off finding out later,” Julie’s thumb rubbed against the skin by my knee, a calming technique she’d picked up from our mother. “But I couldn’t hold it in anymore, you deserve to know.” 

I pointed her face to the ceiling, hoping that the ceiling fan above me could do its best to dry the tears flattened against the surface of my face. I had always thought that Luke had cared about me, maybe not to the level that I cared about him, but enough to be let in on his disappearing act. Luke had no reason to hide this from her. 

“Why would he want to keep this from me?” she finally asked, wiping a fresh tear from my face. “Wouldn’t he want me to say goodbye?”

Julie sighed, rocking their hands back and forth. Y/N had always told her that her silence was wide enough to draw fear from even the strongest person. It swelled with intention, and hesitation. The girl cleared her throat before repeating the question. Julie chewed on her bottom lip before finally speaking up.

“It’s complicated Y/N, you should ask him yourself.” 

Of course she’d encourage healthy conversation. She groaned as she fell onto her back on the bed below her. Julie followed suit, nestling her head in the crook of her sister’s neck, snuggling to her side. 

Now it was the night of The Orpheum show and she still hadn’t tried to find Luke throughout the week. In fact, she instead avoided rehearsals all together. Every afternoon Julie would knock on the door and ask her the same question. 

“Are you doing it today?” 

She’d shake my head, pushing my glasses back onto the bridge of her nose with a sigh. Julie would lean in the doorway with wide eyes, but Y/N would just shake my head before returning back to her notebook. As the door closed, she’d finally let herself breath evenly again.

She was writing to him. 

Two people can play this avoidance game, so she decided that she was going to stoop as low as he did and avoid confronting him in person. Instead, she hatched a plan to leave him a note in the pocket of his flannel before he left for him to read wherever he was. There was so much that she had to say, she just wanted to make sure she got it right. More importantly, she wanted to wait until the last moment so that he had to sit with it.

Yes. It was harsh, but as she sat there with boiling tears streaming down her cheeks she couldn’t just sulk with the feeling any longer. She had been the vulnerable one this whole time. Never pushing him when it came to talking about his parents, but opening up to him about her mother. Not forcing him to give her hints about new music, but brushing away his constant need to climb into her room weekly to peek into her lyric notebook. 

She understood why his walls were up, and he understood that he did the stupid things he did because he cared about her. But this, this was the last straw. She could not simply let him walk away from her forever without letting him know that his actions caused her pain. 

The idea of explaining the connection of what she felt when she was with him seemed exhaustive. It was months and months of moments that had spiraled out of my control until I had fallen completely into him. So I decided to start from the beginning, but to keep it short. The letter began with the moment that I had stumbled on Julie talking to herself in the garage. 

Her pen hovered over her own name at the bottom of the page for a moment. She moved the utensil up to the top of the the scribbled handwriting with clear purpose. She began to scratch out the first line of text but paused again as the ink hit the paper. Dropping the grey tube onto the surface below, she brought her hand up to the top of the crease and tore out the page. She folded into a perfect square before taking a deep breath. 

As the pressed the seam one last time, she heard her father call her down the stairs for dinner. She leaned back to lift the pillow up off of the top of her bed, placing the piece of paper on the pastel yellow sheets below before setting the it back down. She sighed once more before lifting herself off the best and making her way to the door. 

As soon as the girl turned the corner, Luke poofed into the room. He looked around for any sign of her, but the girl was nowhere to be found. Giving up, he fell onto her bed, bouncing everything in around in his vicinity. The pillow below his head was obviously one that Y/N used regularly, his head falling closer to the surface of the mattress than he’d like. 

Lifting his head off of the feathered material, moving to a seated position. He leaned backward, grabbing the square with both hands and raising it up. His eyes fell from the mint cover to a small square back on the bed. Luke threw the pillow to the left, hands reaching for his new object of interest. He looked to the left and right before unraveling the note. 

His eyes soared across each line with ease. The skin on his bottom lip tearing away from his mouth as he dug into it. His gaze lingered on a particular word at the end. 

Loving.

His first thought was to lash out at Julie for betraying their promise, but it was shortly replaced by his need to get to Y/N. His fingers gripped the paper tightly at his chest as he took a deep breath. As he sat still, he began to hear footsteps in the distance. Jumping in place, Luke frantically worked to get the paper folded back down to its original square shape. He replaced the pillow and then rose to a standing position. With a snap of his fingers, Luke was out of the room without a word. 

Julie spun into the room, humming to herself as she walked toward the bed. Scrunching her brow in confusion, she leaned her head out the door.  

“Where did you say your glasses went?” She yelled loudly down to her sister.

“They should be on my bed!” Y/N yelled back in annoyance.

Julie rolled her eyes as she turned onto her heels and re-entered the room. She couldn’t see the clear frames anywhere on the soft comforter. As she inched closer, she began to lift things out of the way to make her search easier. As she lifted the pillow on the righthand side, a small piece of paper flew at her chest. Dropping the soft rectangle onto the bed, she leaned down to the floor to pick it up.

She unfolded it slowly and carefully. As it unraveled, she began to read the words on the page. Her eyes fell left to right hastily as she got increasingly angry. She locked her jaw as her gaze fell onto the line that said ‘you are a coward, Lucas Patterson.’ She had to admit, her sister had a talent for writing something brash and harsh in the most poetic way imaginable. 

“Hey did you find,” Julie’s hands collapsed around the paper at the sound of the voice. “What are you doing.” 

Turning to face her awaiting punishment, she saw that her sister’s face was already redder than the fireplace in their living room. Her hands were balled at her hips as she began to march toward the younger girl loudly. Julie arm swung around her back to hold the paper out of reach as her sister entered her personal bubble.

“I asked you to find my glasses, not to snoop through my things.”

Julie straightened her torso, raising an eyebrow as she looked at the older girl with shaking shoulders. She knew her sister could knock her flat out in a minute, but she had to speak her mind before it was trampled to the ground. 

“And I asked you to talk to Luke in person,” She brought the paper back out to her chest. “This, this is cowardly Y/N.” 

Her sister was visible vibrating with anger at this point. Y/N let out an anguished grunt, squeezing her fingers against her palm. But within a second, Julie heard the sound of crying come from the other side of the room. She rushed over to her sister’s side, catching her falling shoulders in her arms. She walked the girl over to the bed, sitting next to her on the edge. 

Julie rubbed her hand against Y/N’s knee, soothing her with light singing as she settled her tears. Finally raising her eyes back up to meet Julie’s, Y/N chewed helplessly at her bottom lip. 

“This whole time Jules, this whole time I’ve waited for him to be honest and truthful with me.” She sighed as a hand grazed against her raw cheek. “And he couldn’t even do it to say goodbye. I don’t even know what the point there is in talking to him. I know I’ll never get the truth.”

Julie stayed silent for a moment, listening to her sister’s sharp breaths. Her hand tapped against her skin a few times to gain her attention. Y/N’s bloodshot eyes met hers again.

“I know. I know that it’s been difficult,” Julie said looking right into her eyes. “Luke isn’t an easy person to talk to. But I cannot stand here and let you wallow forever without the possibility of speaking your mind. I know how heavily that weighs on you. Sure, you cannot control what he says, but I feel like you DESERVE to speak your mind to his face and breath easier at night.”

Y/N nodded, but she didn’t speak. What could she possibly say at this point. She knew Julie was right, but her anxiety weighed her body down like a cinderblock sat straight on her chest. The racing thoughts were cut off by her father yelling for Julie from the first floor. 

“It’s not too late for you to come to the show tonight,” Julie reminded her. 

“Maybe,” Y/N replied softly, keeping her eyes toward the window.

She heard the boxspring creak as Julie got up from the bed, and the door swing shut as she walked out of the room before she looked to her right. She couldn’t cry again. There’d been too many tears that night already. Instead, she rolled onto her bed, staring at the ceiling with the note to her chest. 

****

She woke up in a cold sweat. Leaning over to her left she saw that the clock said 8:30 p.m. She was too late. She couldn’t put the note in his pocket before he left, and she couldn’t say the words to his face either. 

He was gone. 

Y/N sighed to herself as she got up out of bed and leaned forward to turn on the lamp. Looking out the window, she stared at the garage with wide eyes. If she couldn’t say goodbye to him in person, she’d at least say it out loud, hoping, praying that maybe he’d hear it out there somewhere. 

She threw on her jean jacket before walking toward the door. Closing it behind her carefully, she raced down the stairs and out the back door. The sound of crickets and nearby sprinklers were the only noise to fill the air as she walked the short distance to the practice space.

As she entered the dingy, dark space she flipped on the lightswitch. As the soft yellow hue filled the room, she brought her hand out to her back pocket. Bringing the now deformed note into her hands, she quickly untangled it. She cleared her throat before beginning to speak. The shake in her throat note waiting long to appear.

“Luke,

The moment I met you, I thought that I’d absolutely hate you. My sister made me sit on the couch as called all three of you to appear. I remember meeting those bright green eyes and knowing exactly what they were capable of. But as the smile grew across your face, I knew I was a wasn’t a match for them.

You could have made it easy for me. Left it as a simply, fleeting crush entirely based on looks. However, you had to go and make me feel your presence. After the performance, Julie expected you all to disappear out of sight for me, but after the last note fell from my sister’s lips....you stayed.

I knew at that moment that we’d have a problem. You had the ability to be there at a moment’s notice. You, being as inquisitive as always, found your way up to my room every night. You, lacking the ability to be subtle, would spend that time drilling me with questions. You forced me to know you.

You were no longer a figment of my sister’s grief, you were a permanent structure in mine.

I didn’t ask you to listen to the lyrics I’d written the last time I had to say goodbye. I didn’t ask you to run to my side before my tears had dried over some stupid test or audition. You brought yourself there every single time.

I cannot believe that you would leave without telling me. I cannot believe that you’d choose to never see me again instead. You’re a coward, Lucas Patterson. A spineless coward.

I’ll never forgive you for making me feel. I’ll never forgive you for making me dream again. I’ll never forgive you for ripping that all away from me at a moment’s notice.

But I’ll never regret loving you.

- Y/N”

The sound of her name on her own tongue felt almost as painful as the knot lodged in her throat to hold back her tears. She refolded the paper, eyes staying forward, set on the darkness that surrounded her. She waited another moment before turning around. 

Her walk back to the house was cut short by a hoarse voice exposing itself to the light.

“Y/N?”

She stopped cold in her tracks, turning around on her tiptoes. There he stood in front of her, swollen and pale as ever. Her anger turned right to worry as she took several steps toward him with wide eyes. She leaned her head to the side, shaking it back and forth.

“What- how are you,” She scrunched her nose in confusion. “How are you here?”

“The Orpheum,” He began, already losing the race with his breath. “Wasn’t our unfinished business. So we came here to wait it out until sunrise. We didn’t want to worry Julie.” 

“Should I even be surprised that you’re side-stepping yet another conversation?” 

Luke bit down on his bottom lip, arm reaching out to touch her for a moment before his brain reminded him that he couldn’t reach her even if he wanted to. She took a step back, crossing her arms at her chest.

“The nerve you have, Luke Patterson,” She rolled her eyes at him. “To not even have the guts to properly say goodbye to Julie. She’s the one who brought back your love for music. She’s the one who put herself on the line for you with out dad, our friends and everyone else. And you repay her by LYING TO HER? I’m not even upset about what you did to me anymore.”

“Y/N,” His voice strained, his eyes boring into her. “I never meant to hurt anyone.”

“Well you did.” 

Luke ran his hands through his hair, sighing. As his head rose back up, he held his stomach in his hand as he made his way toward her. 

“Y/N, I’m sorry. I’ve never had anyone who’s put me first. I’ve always forced their in front of my own,” He started, a small smile on my face. “What was I supposed to do with a stubbornly perfect girl who forced me to give in?” 

Y/N held her gaze to the sky, tightening her hands around herself. His eyes stayed on her as he took a few small steps forward, standing right in front of her. 

“I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you that I was leaving,” His words bringing her watering eyes back to his face. “I just knew I couldn’t take staring at that exact look in your eyes.” 

He shook his head at her, tears streaming from his face now. “I love you, so much, Y/N. I never want you to hurt because of me. I was selfish and cruel, and I’m so sorry that I didn’t even think of the consequences. Again. I’m an idiot and I’m selfish but I am, so in love with you and I can’t think straight.”

Y/N’s lips parted as she gasped at those last words. Y/N fell back a bit in shock, tripping over her own feet. Luke rushed toward her, arms wrapping around her waist before she could hit the ground. Silence filled her air as she tried to understand what was happening.

Her brought her back up to a standing position, bringing one hand up to her face. His fingers grazed harshly against her cheek as he pulled her into him. He heard her open her mouth to speak, but crashed his lips against hers before she could get a word out. 

The room filled with color as their lips moved together harmoniously. Y/N was the first to pull back first, eyes falling around his features for a moment before her hand reached out to touch his face.

“I feel stronger,” Luke said in a gruff voice. 

“What just happened?” Y/N asked just above a whisper. 

Luke tightened his grip around her hips, pulling her closer to him. He shook his head rapidly before letting out a giggle. 

“I don’t know, but I just want to do that again.

His lips fell onto hers at once, Y/N melting into his touch instantly. They moved in sync for a moment before pulling away. Luke leaned forward, pressing his forehead against hers. 

Y/N heard grumbling coming from the corner of the room. Turning to her left, she saw Alex and Reggie stumbling toward them. Alex held a pinched expression as he leaned against the piano.

“We don’t have to make out with her too, do we?” 

Y/N leaned against Luke’s chest in a fit of laughter, feeling him join her as his chin rested on her head. 

.

.

.

Tag list: @xplrreylo @lovesanimals , @anythingandeverythingfandom , @crybabyddl  @themaddies-obx , @lukeys-giggle , @bumbleberry-pie @kiss-themoongoodbye  @marinettepotterandplagg , @lolychu , @bathtimejish , @dasexydevitt13 @musicconversedance​ , @txrii  @bestdressedandstressed @daisiesforlacey  @epikskool​  @bookfrog247​ @carleywhittaker​ @princessvader15​ @charliesmountains​ @spooky-season-bitch​  @kcd15​  @meangirlsx​ @itz-jas​ @parkeret​ @writerinlearning​ @calamitykaty​ @whatever-happens-imma-stand-tall​ @teenwaywardasgardian​ @dream-a-little-bigger-x​ @tenaciousperfectionunknown​ @thesweetestsinner​  @kinda-really-lost​